tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90271609009751111972024-02-07T00:13:04.971-05:00The Claymation WerewolfClaymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.comBlogger96125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-52937149994260706862013-07-28T23:10:00.002-04:002013-07-29T06:49:42.489-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">My Geeky First Times.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">A league of extraordinary bloggers post.</span><br />
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It’s no secret that I’m a suave, debonair “geek-about-town.” It’s been that way for a long time and I’ve become quite accustomed to the lifestyle.<br />
I can send chills up a retro console system’s spine just by entering a cheat code. It works every time…isn’t even hard.<br />
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At a comic convention, I can leave with any trade paperback I want regardless of who she showed up with.<br />
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I’ve literally had vintage action figures fight over me. It’s embarrassing but let’s face it. It’s pretty hot.<br />
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Despite the walking geek catnip you see before you today I have some shocking news. It wasn’t always like this. Like the rest of you there was a time that my “encounters” with geek pop culture were my first times. And even for me, first times can be crushing, scarring and so humiliating that there is nothing else to do but recount the awkward and embarrassing moments in a blog!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My first time with Video Games.</span><br />
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It was a dark and stormy night. No seriously it was dark and stormy. At four years old I was a mere claymation were pup and woke up, scared by the thunder. The house was totally dark and silent. I walked the halls yelling for my parents who were nowhere to be found. Beginning to panic, I eventually made my way to the front door and walked out into the yard of our apartment complex. Somewhere between my wandering and sobbing I somehow attracted the attention of my parents who were at our neighbors, two houses down. The neighbors had invited my parents over for a night of fun playing their brand new Atari home video game system!<br />
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By all accounts my parents had a great time. The Atari was new! Exiting! And it was the first one on the block! It was the kind of thing that would change the way that my parents looked at home gaming! It mesmerized them! They loved it so much that nothing could distract them from the Atari experience. Even an abandoned, and frightened child.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My first time with a Haunted House:</span><br />
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Children of my generation watched a lot of horror movies. We weren’t so protected back then. I consider the 1980’s the silver age of horror. The slasher movement was in full force and kids loved it. We not only liked the movies, we idolized the monsters themselves. Jason Vorhees, Michael Myers and Freddy Krueger were pop culture superstars! I saw things no differently and had a bedroom covered with posters of my favorite homicidal maniacs, both homemade and carefully removed from issues of Fangoria and mad monster party.<br />
One would thing with that kind of appreciation for the darker side of life that if I were given the chance to come face to face with my favorite monsters I would be overjoyed! My parents thought I would when they drove me to a local haunted house that featured the monsters of my favorite movies.<br />
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As I walked the haul of the haunt each door opened, revealing a killer ready to strike. It was a blur of hockey masks knives and chainsaws, at least for the first couple of seconds before I looked down and clenched my eyes shut. For good. All the way home I hated myself and re-lived me defeat. I imagined going through the haunted house again with a bunch of fake weapons. This time I would scare them! I wouldn’t let fear control me ever again! It was time to do things my way.<br />
I never set foot in another haunted house for 15 years.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My first time with Action Figures.</span><br />
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Picture it. I was back at that apartment complex that I mentioned in the story about my parents abandoning me for a video game. I had a friend that lived a few apartments down named Dwight. Dwight was the best. He was five years older than me and I thought he was just about the coolest guy around.<br />
He listened to cool music. He dressed cool and he had really cool toys that I had never seen before. They were called Masters of the Universe! I had never seen the action figures or even the cartoon but it was love at first sight! The armor, the weapons the awesome vehicles and weird mutant bad guys. Because he was so cool Dwight let me borrow a huge portion of his collection and I got to take them home for the night and play with them. What Dwight hadn’t counted on was that I was a chewer and within a short time I had flattened the fingers of several of the Eternian warriors.<br />
My parents were humiliated and had to buy Dwight all new He-Man toys. On the plus side I got to keep the ruined action figures and that experience set my love of action figures into action. It was also the first time I got a real taste for Masters Of The Universe. Taste. See what I did there?<br />
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So…there it is. My fumbling awkward first times with geekdom. It was tough to relive those moments but now that I’ve done it, it feels pretty liberating. But enough about my inexperienced past. Lets talk about my VERY experienced present.<br />
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Oh and to those limited edition Monster Cereal Bobble-heads I see across the room? I’ve been noticing you noticing me.<br />
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<b>How you doin‘?</b><br />
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Meanwhile, At league of extraordinary bloggers headquarters!!<br />
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<a href="http://goodwillhunting4geeks.blogspot.com/2013/07/league-of-extraordinary-bloggers-first.html" target="_blank">The goodwill geek tells the story of a birthday part that set him off on a slippery (but awesome) slope!!!</a><br />
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<a href="http://diaryofadorkette.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-first-time-ever-i-saw-your-face.html" target="_blank">Miss M at diary of a dorkette met She-Ra for the first time. And the rest was history!</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.poprewind.com/the-league-first-video-games/" target="_blank">Lee and Linz at Pop Rewind tell some great "first video games" stories!</a></div>
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Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-50049290621129560392013-06-09T21:43:00.000-04:002013-06-10T10:12:25.337-04:00Perfect Strangers the Animated Series!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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After a huge bit of good fortune (stemming from the online sale of a mint condition 1978 Fisher Price "Little People's Tatooine Playset", Brian at Cool and Collected is now flush with money.<br />
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This puts him in a rather unique position to make several rather risky business decisions with no real concern for whether they succeed or fail. He has, of course decided to bring back the intellectual properties that are to be hand picked by the member of the league of extraordinary bloggers.<br />
Not wanting to waste this opportunity, I knew exactly the property that needed a revival. A show long since off the air but still playing in prime time in all of our hearts.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Perfect Strangers.</span></b></div>
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I know they tried to bring Perfect Strangers back twice already but each time it was attempted by television professionals...and what do they know. There is a time and a place for everything and the proper time for a Perfect Strangers renewal wasn't in the early nineties...it's right now. Besides, ABC never tried to bring it back the way I'm going to do it, as an animated series!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">These guys are ready America!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Here's the pitch:</b></span></div>
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<i>""The Mediterranean, Island Nation of Mypos has recently discovered that they sit directly on top of one of the largest natural helium reserves in the world and every citizen becomes an instant millionaire. Free to travel from the boundaries of their quaint shepherding island, the citizens can't wait to see the world. And freshly invigorated by the wave of 80's sitcoms that had just now made their way to their country the first place the want to visit is America.</i><br />
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<i>Alarmed by the sudden explosion in travel visa applications from Mypos, the department of tourism tracks down and hires the single only other resident of the nation to ever come to the United States, Balki Bartokomus. </i><br />
<i>Larry Appleton, hesitant to take the new job, until he sees the salary, agrees to join Balki in DC as his assistant. </i><br />
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<i>Larry's hesitation soon turns to outright dread when he discovers the realities of the job. Dozens of naive and filthy rich members of the island nation of Mypos with no concept of dishonest people and an understanding of American culture straight out of "Mr Belvedere" and "Who's the Boss." And they were all Balki and Larry's responsibility.</i><br />
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<i>As if the common everyday cheats and criminals werent enough of a threat to the money of the Mypos tourists (and job security of our heroes) there was an even bigger danger. A lobbyist, CEO and all-around corporate slime-ball by the name of Bob Executive lived with one goal in mind; to see exactly HOW easily a fool and his money are parted. Seeing the new visitors as not only walking ATM's but a pathway for his company to steal the helium right from under their country's nose.</i><br />
<i>Balki and Larry have to guide the confused and enthusiastic Myposian Millionaires through the incredible sights and sounds of America, make sure they have a great time (and don't get robbed blind in the process.)""</i><br />
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<i> <b> "It's like Mr Bean, meets the Beverly Hillbillies meets Coming to America!"</b></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>-me</b></i></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b> <span style="font-size: large;"> With the fluidity of Animation the story lines for this show are virtually endless! </span></b></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<b>**A Mypos storyteller begins to strike up a conversation during a meeting of congress and accidentally filibusters for 32 hours gaining the national spotlight and becoming a political hero for every party!</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>**The boys take some Mypos tourists to the grand canyon, only to find that they stage a daring midnight raid to free all the guide mules!</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>**A well loved Mypos folk musician visits America and becomes the biggest thing to hit the hipster music scene since The Neptunes! Can Balki and Larry keep the fame (and women) from going to this wide-eyed idealists head? ...and more importantly can the make any money off of the merchandising?</b><br />
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There are dozens more but I don't wanna give this stuff away! Am I right?<br />
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<br />
The oppourtunity for merch is just as amazing. I'm seeing Mypos tee shirft, Mypos messenger bags and so on, not to mention all the 80's slang gear we can church out with the whole "they are all still living in 1980's America" thing!<br />
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<br />
Hot Topic is basically going to become a Perfect Strangers store...that's what I'm trying to say.<br />
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<br />
I am so excited at the opportunity to bring back this long deserving property that I just want to...<br />
<br />
ah! You know!<br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, at League Of Extraordinary Bloggers Headquarters!!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://teamhellions.com/2013/06/09/bring-back-childrens-television-hosts-the-league/">Kevin at Team Hellions wants to bring back local childrens television hosts and I totally agree (loved those!)</a>/<br />
<div>
<br />
<a href="http://monstercafesaltillo.blogspot.mx/2013/06/league-assignment-bring-back-gimmicks.html">Hobgoblin 238 Wants to bring back the awesome 80's style gimmicks and Save Wrestling!!</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://diaryofadorkette.blogspot.com/2013/06/bring-it-back.html">Miss M at Diary of a Dorkette gives us an epic bringbackapalooza including one of my personal favorites, Wonder Woman!</a></div>
Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-22476435731914226272013-05-31T18:05:00.002-04:002013-05-31T18:07:12.243-04:00Radio Free WerewolfOur Loyal Fans, Fellow Coo~Coo Cola Cult Members, Sick And Twisted Internet Fiends:<br />
<br />
It is finally here.<br />
<br />
Radio Free Werewolf! <br />
<br />
That lovely little mic banner on the right side of your screen will take you to our newest addition to the wacky, wild and woolly world of Claymation Werewolf! You've read CW's blogs and marveled at his witty illustrations! Now tremble in fear as he hijacks your airwaves... or Internet waves..... whatever.<br />
<br />
Yes~! Tis true! Now you too can enjoy the dulcet tones of our very own Claymation Werewolf;<br />
(And occasionally me, phishbon3s) as CW and I quest host on several awesome podcasts! And will be regular guests on McCoy Cast's 80's Anthologies: Episode By Episode.<br />
<br />
So sit back, relax and enjoy a little howling from CW and friends!<br />
<br />
<br />
~phishbon3sPhishbon3shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12922255818275044341noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-29157625096890983682013-05-21T21:29:00.000-04:002013-08-19T19:43:44.098-04:00Why this, Not that?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTUgs8MZRBuzuaFKXBnXqg57Ily2XS6x_-Jksse-l70JYkCtSmZ3APVaIsg4twKJeA46rhJ4DXw6j9rmJcEP8zsdEnj8xL51ny0_fRji92W8xrwp9qKZp-eNmJOUGzOTui2P7FcYFaZr61/s1600/leaguelogo_medium.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTUgs8MZRBuzuaFKXBnXqg57Ily2XS6x_-Jksse-l70JYkCtSmZ3APVaIsg4twKJeA46rhJ4DXw6j9rmJcEP8zsdEnj8xL51ny0_fRji92W8xrwp9qKZp-eNmJOUGzOTui2P7FcYFaZr61/s1600/leaguelogo_medium.png" /></a></div>
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<br />
The world plays favorites. There I said it; someone had to. There is very little reason in history why some things succeed while others fail. I know what you're saying, What about survival of the fittest? <br />
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<br />
Well, before you start spouting off the hair-brained theories of some weirdo on an island trying to make a name for himself, let me just nip it in the bud. Most of the time, the difference between becoming a legend and a loser is all up to the fickle hands of fate.<br />
<br />
Ahem! I say, The fickle HANDS OF FATE!<br />
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<br />
Thank you. <br />
<br />
I can see that a distinguishing blog reader like yourself is going to need a little further convincing. Well, I am happy to help. There are virtually endless examples of cultural "natural selection" selecting about as unnaturally as one could imagine!<br />
<br />
How else besides sheer chance could you explain how two barely lingual man-beasts like Stallone and Schwarzenegger<br />
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become Hollywood royalty, while a talented (and brilliant) male specimen of Adonis proportion like Mr Miles O'Keeffe is regulated to being a mere footnote in cinema history! <br />
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<br />
Why Does Circuit City close while Best Buy remains open (...at the moment anyway)? They were virtually the same exact store! Do people just prefer blue to red?<br />
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<br />
Ponderosa and Bonanza were both huge players in the competitive "Below average steak/buffet places named after the western television show Bonanza" market in the 1980's. Somehow Ponderosa remains a thriving place where seniors can have a steak, baked potato and then finish off a buffet meal with a piece of pie from a rotating pie-fridge. <br />
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<br />
While Bonanza is a place they can only <em>remember</em> doing those things in.<br />
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<br />
Rally's lives, Daddy'o's goes bye-bye. <br />
<br />
Arbys is still around but Rax says "see ya later, alligator"<br />
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<br />
There were once THREE chefs on the Cinnamon Toast Crunch box but now only one still remains. Why?<br />
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...Okay to be fair the grey haired guy killed the other two but I think my point still stands. <br />
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<br />
They still make trading cards of just about everything on earth but do you see POGS anywhere? Do you???<br />
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Comedy legend Chevy Chase bombs with his show on late night TV but a walking cure for joy like David Letterman is in his 86th (approximate) year!? What gives?<br />
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The Star Trek property seems destined to last forever while great new sci-fi shows like Farscape and Firefly get unceremoniously kicked to the curb!<br />
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Why does Count Chockula deserve to be on store shelves year round, when Boo Berry and Franken Berry (no relation) are only around during Halloween? Even worse, Fruit Brute and Fruity Yummy Mummy stop getting made altogether! <br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"> Illustration, courtesy of Tom Krohne (Monster Fink)</span><br />
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Why does My Little Pony get to have the fiercely loyal adult following? Why not Littlest Pet Shop?<br />
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Mad Magazine and Cracked Magazine were both personal favorites of mine as a kid. Today, Mad is still just as Mad as ever! Alfred E Newman still isn't worrying and those fold pictures still rule! </div>
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And What became of Cracked? It went from a funny magazine to the worlds first completely list based pseudo humor website!</div>
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Sega and Nintendo shared a mutual hatred only rivaled in the corporate world by Coke and Pepsi. Apparently though despite all of its trash talk...<br />
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Nintendo was chosen. And where are we today? Well, Take a look.<br />
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This my friends, is not okay.<br />
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None of this is okay and none of it is fair.<br />
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Why BluRay over HD DVD? <br />
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Again, it must be our national preference of Blue over Red (aside from the whole Mario Versus Sonic thing I just mentioned...though, Mario wears a lot of Blue too and Sonic DOES have those giant red tennis shoes...)<br />
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Everybody said Beta max was better...why did VHS win (besides the whole porn thing I mean)<br />
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Speaking of the better man not winning, I don't know how many people I've spoken to in my life who brushed their scarf to one side, crossed their skinny-jean clad legs, lowered their fake, black rimmed glasses and said "CW, I hate Disney and I have always preferred the Looney Toons characters to The Disney Characters. They're better written and much funnier!" Apparently, none of these cartoon hipsters feel like putting their viewing where there mouths are though. Disney adds to their gold mine with each and everything they produce!<br />
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While over in Looney Toons world...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgunIjwMauTaoRlBJ36wUi9z0iM6h8yOkZHUP9dGN07LyytbG312gEeVQwtzhz-uqCEC8gcDWI1OIrjXG1UXXkmiDe4lj0yeSjSE5F_8wk43olcZe6QgecYTBxWp2IQ-thr6tEL9wSBnxbF/s1600/The-Looney-Tunes-Show-Point-Laser-Point-Episode-26-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgunIjwMauTaoRlBJ36wUi9z0iM6h8yOkZHUP9dGN07LyytbG312gEeVQwtzhz-uqCEC8gcDWI1OIrjXG1UXXkmiDe4lj0yeSjSE5F_8wk43olcZe6QgecYTBxWp2IQ-thr6tEL9wSBnxbF/s320/The-Looney-Tunes-Show-Point-Laser-Point-Episode-26-4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I swear every crazy attempt...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQxh5OshbXcc_8dw7qGslBxBzQ4Y4kT5alN8oGH1xO00No8JsViyv-EA2IR4H5JM4OB9ZSO1LzeTyoLFzC9OyUWaMke5sEQGOqFdVFu7U61qU8S94GZdQyocOf233YFrW1c3z0-ianPvNo/s1600/hqdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQxh5OshbXcc_8dw7qGslBxBzQ4Y4kT5alN8oGH1xO00No8JsViyv-EA2IR4H5JM4OB9ZSO1LzeTyoLFzC9OyUWaMke5sEQGOqFdVFu7U61qU8S94GZdQyocOf233YFrW1c3z0-ianPvNo/s320/hqdefault.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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...at reviving the property...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQuMa78_mlnUBO2B6g1MpYIi8rnjxlZQpAoLEeRZSsKM4Jd2CLMdtmBgFzOXw64MEnjrqeG1HdnIwbuCqX9nZBLGssj1Cu5vaEMZ5dKkEEt3jpOk6Ee2sYX3S5A6yPrcg-b7So8pm8Fmpo/s1600/still-of-brendan-fraser-and-jenna-elfman-in-looney-tunes_-back-in-action.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="134" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQuMa78_mlnUBO2B6g1MpYIi8rnjxlZQpAoLEeRZSsKM4Jd2CLMdtmBgFzOXw64MEnjrqeG1HdnIwbuCqX9nZBLGssj1Cu5vaEMZ5dKkEEt3jpOk6Ee2sYX3S5A6yPrcg-b7So8pm8Fmpo/s320/still-of-brendan-fraser-and-jenna-elfman-in-looney-tunes_-back-in-action.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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is met with a bigger failure than the time before! <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGQr4o0X56040BTUw1ovpHNaswgsch2FydqQrgqw3L-UbuOk6t9BXuO-NcW3gagnqZKAUT8MKM4XtBGSajlK-wl_JbaAQg_hyphenhyphenW1w90nYcs6_MrTBr1kpCSQWvw3tPcEuY2wuBeSAtUNoNC/s1600/loonytoons-loonatics.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGQr4o0X56040BTUw1ovpHNaswgsch2FydqQrgqw3L-UbuOk6t9BXuO-NcW3gagnqZKAUT8MKM4XtBGSajlK-wl_JbaAQg_hyphenhyphenW1w90nYcs6_MrTBr1kpCSQWvw3tPcEuY2wuBeSAtUNoNC/s320/loonytoons-loonatics.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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It's honestly like there's someone over at Warner Brothers holding Looney Toons by its ankles shaking it and saying "Darn it, I know there's some money in there somewhere!!"<br />
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And there you have it. I could go on and on with examples both blatantly unfair and/or simply puzzling but I think I've made my point. And besides, I have to get back to blogging. I have to try to stay on the bleeding edge of pop culture relevancy. I have no way of knowing when the curious hands of fate might come out of nowhere and make me just disappear. </div>
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...And neither my friends, do any of you!</div>
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Meanwhile, at League of Extraordinary Bloggers Headquarters!!!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://thirtyishyearoldboy.blogspot.ca/2013/05/why-because-its-league.html?m=1#!/2013/05/why-because-its-league.html">Daniel at thirtyish year old boy does the unthinkable and DEFENDS JAR JAR BINKS! I for one admire his courage and will fondly remember him after the torch wielding geek mob are finished with their grim work.</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.infinitehollywood.com/why-not-make-war-of-the-gargantuas-action-figures/" target="_blank">Personally as a big kaiju fan, I give my full support to the awesome idea submitted by Newt at Infinite Hollywood: "War Of The Gargantuans" Action Figures!!</a> <br />
<br />
<a href="http://calvinscanadiancaveofcool.blogspot.ca/2013/05/if-you-ever-wondered-why-shes-my-best.html" target="_blank"> While I may not fully understand the pictorial post submitted by Kal over at Calvin's Canadian Cave of Cool, I have to say that after seeing the name of his blog (amazing) then reading the blog description (hilarious) and the header image (indescribebly epic) I read some of the other posts and they are fantastic! Run, don't walk to this site! </a><br />
<br />Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-58422706453758307522013-03-17T00:45:00.000-04:002013-03-18T10:05:00.102-04:00John Cena's Rockin' Wrestling.<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.1875px;">Mr Adams</span><br />
<div style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.1875px; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-top: 0.4em;">
<span style="background-color: #fff2cc;">Mr McMahon </span></div>
<div style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.1875px; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-top: 0.4em;">
<span style="background-color: #fff2cc;">Mr Decker</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19.1875px; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-top: 0.4em;">
<span style="background-color: #fff2cc;">Gentlemen:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc;">I want to start by saying how personally excited I am to hear about the impending merger between World Wrestling Entertainment and Cool and Collected Holdings (In association with Underscoopfire Industries) I know that this will open up some amazing oppourtunites for everyone involved and cement the WWE's place in history, not only as the most succesful sports-entertainment venture ever devised, but as the greatest media empire the world has ever known.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc;">The fact that you are reaching out further to the talented and driven members of your collective fanbases is a true testimant to the groundbreaking things to come. I truly believe that by soliciting "pitches" for new WWE programing, the world will be given some of the most fresh television they have ever seen. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; line-height: 19.1875px;">Attached please find the outline for my new series: </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19.1875px;"><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-size: x-large;">John Cena's Rockin' Wrestling.</span></span></div>
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<b><i style="background-color: #fff2cc;">An american hero with unstoppable heart leads a team of loyal warriors against the forces of evil and greed."</i></b><br />
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<b><i style="background-color: #fff2cc;">Our series will follow the animated adventures of universally beloved wrestler John Cena who, after discovering a plot by a group of heartless wrestling stars who's plans to turn wrestling into a soulless corporation will not only damage the legacy of TV's most admired sports-art. It will set a bad example for kids everywhere and breed a generation of selfish, greedy Americans. </i></b></div>
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<b><i style="background-color: #fff2cc;">Though Mr Cena has the heart of 20 men, he knows this is one mission he can't handle alone. Fortunately, during his years as a gladiator, he has met some of the greatest brothers in arms a guy could ever hope for. </i></b></div>
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<b><i style="background-color: #fff2cc;">His Fantastic Faces include:</i></b><br />
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<span style="color: #373737; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 24px;">Rey Mysterio- </span><b style="color: #373737; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px;">A high flying, death defying, true man of mystery. Hailing from parts unkown this masked my may be small in stature but more than makes up for it with his enormous will to win. There is no adversary that can stand up to Rey Mysterio...including gravity.</b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc;"><span style="color: #373737; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 24px;">Brodus Clay (Alias The Funkasaurus) </span><b><span style="color: #373737; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">Lovable, hilarious and as powerful as a Mack Truck! People of all walks are immediately charmed by the goofy antics of Brodus Clay except maybe the evil-doers who find themselves under the business end of this rump-shaking, rhythm loving warrior for truth and justice! If you think keeping up with his moves on the dance floor is tough...just try it in the wrestling ring!</span></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #373737; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sheamus- </span><b>This Celtic warrior definitely has the luck of the Irish ..though he probably doesn't need it. His ability to bounce back from the edge of defeat can be attributed as much to his years of brutal training as they can to the shamrock sorcery that has made his homeland great. Ready to take on any challenge, the only foe this fierce fair skinned fighter runs from, is the sun.</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 19.1875px;">Undertaker and Kane- </span><b style="font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19.1875px;">B</b><b><span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1875px;">rothers Kane and "Taker" might seem like somber and sober fellows but when they want to, these Gloomy Gus's have more then their fair share of life in them. When they aren't dishing out beatdowns on bad dudes, they play their practical jokes on whoever they can find (sometimes each other!) Be careful, when the lights go out; when they come back on you could find yourself de-pantsed, wedgied or even worse!</span></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #373737; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-size: large;">Kaitlyn-</span><b>This beautiful buff bombshell may seem like all brawn but this lady's brain is the teams true secret weapon. Able to almost instantly calculate the physics of any move and the outcome of any showdown, John Cena's Fantastic Faces wouldn't dare make a move without consulting this mathematic maven. </b></span></span></div>
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<b><i style="background-color: #fff2cc;">John Cena and his team will have to muster every ounce of their collective might if they want to stop CM Punk and his Heinous Heels: CM...a man once led by his virtue until fame twisted him into a cruel monster focused on nothing more than profit and merchandising he using his physical prowess and inerint ability to influence those around him to peer pressure the entire wrestling world! </i></b></div>
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<b><i style="background-color: #fff2cc;">Can The Fantasic Faces defeat The Heinous Heels with such powerhouse villains as:</i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; line-height: 19.1875px;"><span style="font-size: large;">Jinder Mahal- </span><b>Indian tycoon Jinder Mahal has made a fortune on the backbreaking work of others and eventually joined the forces of CM Punk to further his moneymaking potential in America. Every alliance he makes, an uneasy one and Jinder is genuinely curious as to whether he will meet someone truly worthy of his loyalty. If not, he will simply crush every lowly person in his way. </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #373737; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-size: large;">Big Show- </span><b>A giant of a man, this monster towers over nearly everyone else on earth, though the size of his mind may be a bit below average. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #373737; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px;"><b style="background-color: #fff2cc;">Big Show often provides most of the humor among the Heinous Heels (mostly at his own expense) but is always there to pitch his considerable might behind their latest dastardly cause. </b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #373737; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large; line-height: 24px;">Mark Henry- </span><b><span style="line-height: 24px;">Mark Henry is the strongest man in the world. A man of (very) few words, he seems to have no sense of humor and no real personal incentive, Many speculate whether or not Henry is truly a bad guy or just someone patiently waiting until his own plan makes itself known. Time will tell. Until then the Faces certainly have their hands full each time they are forced to face this behemoth. </span></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #373737; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-size: large;">Vickie Guerrero- </span><b>A former librarian and author Vickie wrote the book on good manners (she literally wrote a book on good manners.) </b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #373737; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><b style="background-color: #fff2cc;">After being driven nearly mad by being an etiquette conscious lady in a world of uncouth hooligans she left the quiet life of books to face her fears of the extreme, in the loud bright and brash world of professional wrestling. </b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #373737; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><b style="background-color: #fff2cc;">She immediately took to the world and because one of the most cunning and treacherous managers in wrestling history. Believed by those in the know to be a better business man than even CM Punk she could very well be biding her time for a well orchestrated "corporate takeover." Either way, when this former MS Manners says "Excuse me" these days...watch out!</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc; color: #373737; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-size: large;">Dolph Ziggler- </span><b>Ziggler considers himself the most beautiful man that has ever walked the earth. While a true physical powerhouse his personal ego, more often than not, gets in the way of his success. Unable to truly be a part of any team, it's a constant struggle for CM Punk to keep Dolph focused on anything more than grooming, looking in a mirror and showing off.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19.1875px;"><b><i style="background-color: #fff2cc;">While the Heinous Heels are arguably more physically powerful and undeniably better connected, the story arc of the serious will see them consistently lose to the faces as a result of their in-fighting and their lack of "heart"</i></b></span></span></div>
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<b><i style="background-color: #fff2cc;">Several characters will be added over time as well as additional managers and other on-air staff. </i></b></div>
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<b><i style="background-color: #fff2cc;">I also plan for the show to reflect the ever shiftiting heel/face landscape, something that the original Rockin' Wrestling failed to do (which many animated wrestling show experts consider the reason for it's cancellation) </i></b></div>
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<b><i style="background-color: #fff2cc;">John Cena's Rockin' Wrestling will be a weekly 22 minute animated series aimed at the lucrative 11-45 year old marked. Though I have already developed several hour long specials including numerous holiday episodes.</i></b></div>
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<b><i style="background-color: #fff2cc;">The potential for Tee Shirts and other merchandise as well as video sales to current wrestling fans and nostalgic former fans alike is incredible.</i></b><br />
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc;">I want to thank you all again for your time. I hope that this concept sounds as exciting to you as I feel it could be. I have additional series material such as an pilot and first season arc ourlines, universe treatment and some concept art available at your request.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; line-height: 19.1875px;">It would be my honor and privilege to develop John Cena's Rockin' Wrestling as one of the flagship programs in the new WWE/CoolCollected/Underscoopfire entertainment empire.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; line-height: 19.1875px;">Thank you for your time.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; line-height: 19.1875px;">Rhett Kahn</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-size: large; line-height: 19.1875px;">Meanwhile..., At The League Of Extraordinary Bloggers Headquarters!!</span></span><br />
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<a href="http://teamhellions.com/2013/03/18/the-league-of-extraordinary-bloggers-extra-wwe-creative/#" target="_blank">Team Hellions plans to totally revamp the league including a Cena Heel Turn that would not only change the WWE but more importantly my new animated series!</a> </div>
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<a href="http://ringtimeprowrestling.com/?p=843" target="_blank">Keith over at Ringtim Pro Wrestling plans some wrastlin' programming that could turn the WWE ship around!</a> </div>
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc;"><b>In addition to these great blogs, I bring you some RAD, hand selected posts from some of my favorite online destinations! (also upstanding League members)</b></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc;"><a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.com/category/podcast-episodes/" target="_blank">The Hits keep rolling out from Cold Slither put these podcasts in your earholes stat!</a></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #fff2cc;"><a href="http://sideshowcinema.blogspot.com/2013/02/incredible-hulk-story-us-magazine-1978.html" target="_blank">The Fiji Mermaid at Sideshow Cinema totally HULKS OUT with a great featured post.</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; line-height: 19.1875px;"><a href="http://underscoopfire.com/he-man-behind-the-iron-curtain/" target="_blank">Underscoopfire has a very interesting article on the view of Eternia from behind the Iron Curtain. GREAT READ!</a></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; line-height: 19.1875px;"><a href="http://www.strangekidsclub.com/2013/03/11/the-top-5-awful-animated-series-based-on-a-feature-film/" target="_blank">Strange Kids Club discusses one of my favorite subjects, Movies Developed into Animated TV Shows. Here are the five worst.</a></span></span><br />
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Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-48397040622730561642013-02-27T21:01:00.001-05:002013-02-27T21:19:41.405-05:00Oscar Oscar Oscars!<br />
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In the early 1970’s, television was king and a young playwrite named Neil Simon -fresh off discovering that live theatre provided virtually no cultural enrichment to anyone…ever- wanted in.<br />
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While attending (serving at) a lavish Hollywood party, Simon lucked into a chance meeting with a man named Jim Henson. Henson was a puppeteer beginning to take the world by storm and determined to change the way that showbiz felt (FELT! Hah!) about his craft.<br />
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The two began to talk and soon discovered they had something in common; they both just knew they had a story to tell but weren’t sure how to break into the business. They decided that the one element they were each missing, was each other.<br />
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Neil Simon had to date, only created a single character; a half developed, slovenly man name Oscar Madison from his one man broadway show “The Odd Guy”<br />
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Henson on the other hand had created a virtual world filled with colorful characters. Each one more spectacular than the last and filled with more life than even your most realistically built actor. There was one character though that was destined for greatness. A green star in the making who would become as iconic as greats like Mickey Mouse! Bugs Bunny! Even Ed Grimley!! A character that would be forever tied to the legacy of Mr Henson. This character was, of course, Oscar the Grouch.<br />
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Simon had always wondered what his dialogue filled production about the interpersonal relationships of a recently divorced man trying to make his way in the world, would have been like with more than just one character…and thought that Henson’s lovable, trash can dwelling grouch might be just the guy to bring balance and stardom to his creation. After some quick television series development -which, as you probably know, is a very quick and smooth process, usually lasting only a matter of hours- A brand new, sure fire hit TV show was born! And on Tuesday September 24, 1974 viewers everywhere caught the very first episode of “The Oscars”<br />
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<b>The show began with the following narration:</b><br />
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<b><i>On November 13, Oscar The Grouch was asked to remove himself from his place of residence; that request came from Gordon. Deep down, he knew that Gordon was right, but he also knew that some day he would return to his trash can. With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his friend, Oscar Madison. Several years earlier, Madison's wife had thrown HIM out, requesting that HE never return. Can a divorced man and a furry green puppet who lives in a trashcan shaped portal to an alternate dimmension share an apartment without driving each other crazy? </i></b><br />
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The setup had the potential to be entertainment gold. Two people who’s lives were turned upside down suddenly thrown together. One was a curmudgeonly grump who seemed to prefer living in filth living in his own garbage, who angrily rebuffed any outside attempts to better his hygiene or his attitude…and so was the other one! Could these two identically acting men ever learn to get along?<br />
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It turns out they could. They got along perfectly from episode one and their friendship grew as fast as the piles of garbage in their Manhattan apartment. The always bloodthirsty American TV viewers, after realizing that the show presented to drama or conflict whatsoever, soon turned on the show and after only seven episodes, NBC pulled the plug on “The Oscars”<br />
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However, out of the ashes a new show would be born. The idea was simple. Take the basic premise…two bachelors living together in a New York apartment. But make them different! One fun loving, one stuffy! One Messy, One Organized! Fill the show with conflict and the ratings would explode!<br />
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And explode they did As Burt and Ernie, the Odd Couple finally brought Jim Henson the stardom he was destined for!<br />
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Neil Simon, finally realizing that maybe this writing thing just wasn’t for him formed the Simon &Simon detective agency with his lifelong friend and failed musician Paul Simon<br />
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While not the respected script master he had hoped to become, Neil Simon had finally achieved happiness. Simon and SImon could often be seen, cruising the streets in their muscle car, solving crimes and blasting the latest single “Bridge Over Regular Water” By Rock Superstar Art Garfunkel! Their adventures were often punctuated by hilariously snappy dialogue, nearly half of which was actually improvised by Neil Simon!<br />
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It’s funny sometimes, how life turns out.<br />
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Meanwhile! at the League of Extraordinary Bloggers Headquarters (I really hope you guys read that in the voice I write it in)<br />
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<a href="http://coolandcollected.com/argo-is-the-best-movie-of-the-year-period/" target="_blank">Brian at Cool and Collected wants to know if they can go back and give Argo something called "Super Best Film..."</a><br />
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<a href="http://brandedinthe80s.com/rewriting-oscar-history" target="_blank">Shawn at Branded in the 80's corrects some horrible Oscars mistakes. In doing so he gives an award to Monster Squad (other than food, giving an award to Monster Squad is the fastest way to my heart) read this great post!</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.henchgirl.net/2013/02/the-five-kinds-of-fringe-oscar-winners.html" target="_blank">Victoria, The Henchgirl turns the 5 kinds of Oscar Winners into all kinds of good blog reading!</a><br />
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<a href="http://tophatsasquatch.com/action-figures-of-oscar-winners/" target="_blank">Tommy at Tophat Sasquatch Wins my award for post of the week with his very rad Action Figure Oscars!</a></div>
Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-81941238024925199552013-02-24T12:31:00.003-05:002013-02-24T12:33:52.659-05:00A very merry unbirthday to the League!<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The league Of Extraordinary Bloggers has been quite a ride. The experience of a lifetime. A real game changer! Seriously though there have been times that it has honestly been the only thing that kept me blogging at all. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I remember when Brian first brought up the idea on Twitter. I had been talking to my fellow bloggers about putting together some kind of blog community with cooperative promotion and so on... It had several names from The Brotherhood of Evil Bloggers to a bunch of names that I can’t remember. Anyway it all fell apart each and every time. egos and attitudes always got in the way untill a hero arose. I was having an awkward conversation with some folks on twitter just after the most recent failure of a bloggers league when Brian walked up all cool and collected (see what I did there?) and said “Friends...I have discovered the secret. A way that bloggers can unite, work together and not get into weird passive aggressive arguments while doing it! Come with me to this land I have forged and join me. Join me!!”</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">It may not have been exactly like that but you get the idea. A few of us signed up. Then, more people signed up. Then everybody signed up. Everybody in the world! And the rest...is history.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I’ve never been a fan of doing list blogs. I know a lot of people love them and they are VERY popular even here in The League. I can never get myself to do a simple list, even when I try it just becomes several small essays instead of one giant one. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">My favorite posts have definitely been the ones that inspire the most creativity. EXPECIALLY The one word prompts. The system of reading a prompt and then trying to come up with an essay...fan fiction etc is actually my favorite way of writing. Just go with what you immediately think of in relation to the prompt and don’t let yourself hesitate just put it all out in words, for better or for worse. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Some Of My Favs:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">-<a href="http://claymationwerewolf.blogspot.com/2012/06/im-on-boat-power-of-kurt-russell.html" target="_blank">Kurt Russell:</a> My Number one favorite!!! From the moment I saw that prompt I knew it was going to lead lots of people to blog gold!!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">-Baseball: Just like “Kurt Russell” this post allowed me to go down a ridiculous rabbit hole of writing trying to tie together a completely unrelated chain of events only this time with a different personal favorite icon. <a href="http://claymationwerewolf.blogspot.com/2012/04/baseball-movie.html" target="_blank">Mr Tom Selleck!!</a></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">-Sequels!: I really really really enjoyed writing my <a href="http://claymationwerewolf.blogspot.com/2012/02/monster-squadrevenge.html" target="_blank">Monster Squad Revenge! Sequel</a> pitch..to the point that by the end of it I had to sit down with myself and calmly explain that it was a pretend post and I hadn’t actually been given the rights to write a sequel to Monster Squad...</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">-Michael Bay: Brian was gracious enough to allow me to “grandfather in” my Michael Bay post <a href="http://claymationwerewolf.blogspot.com/2011/11/buttonfor-corduroy.html" target="_blank">“What if Michael Bay turned the children’s book: A Button For Corduroy into a movie?”</a> This was another blast to create and even cooler was one of my comments by Food Junk was actually a hilariously rad sequel to my post! Best blog comment I have EVER received!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">-1992: I never realized how big a year this was until I sat down to write the post, from forging the dreams that I’m still chasing to this day, to (more importantly) Meeting the future Mrs Werewolf! it was <a href="http://claymationwerewolf.blogspot.com/2012/04/1992-banner-year.html" target="_blank">a heck of a year</a> and an awesome walk down memory lane!!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">-True Confessions: <a href="http://claymationwerewolf.blogspot.com/2012/05/claymation-werewolf-true-confessions.html" target="_blank">My most controversial blog ever</a> and my league post with the most comments (wasn't always a good thing lol) It felt great to get some of that stuff off my chest and take on the entire geek community!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">-Mash Up: This is one that I basically just wrote for myself. A <a href="http://claymationwerewolf.blogspot.com/2012/05/evils-castle-theatrical-trailer.html" target="_blank">Eureeka’s Castle/Evil Dead mashup</a> movie. I never got any comments or feedback for it but it was a BLAST to write!</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">But Enough about me!! Here are just a few of the gems that I loved throughout my League Experiance. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Life With The Fandom also wrote a Bay post imaging a Bay Bravestarr or “Bay-ve Star” Movie. The result was filled with so much epic potential it made my head explode with joy (I got better) </span><a href="http://www.lifewithfandom.com/2012/03/league-assignment-7-next-childhood-gem.html"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">http://www.lifewithfandom.com/2012/03/league-assignment-7-next-childhood-gem.html</span></a><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Geeky Vixen tells of her days as a witch (I mean the halloween costume) a very fun nostalgic piece from a very clever and talented writer. Great photos and a personal essay on her views of Halloween costumes in general. Enjoy! </span><a href="http://geekyvixen.wordpress.com/2012/10/05/league-of-extraordinary-bloggers-ghosts-of-halloween-past-and-present-and-future/"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">http://geekyvixen.wordpress.com/2012/10/05/league-of-extraordinary-bloggers-ghosts-of-halloween-past-and-present-and-future/</span></a><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Fortune and Glory Days to us down an incredibly nostalgic and fun to read walk down memory plank with his Pirates Post! </span><a href="http://fortuneandglorydays.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-league-has-spoken-pirates.html"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">http://fortuneandglorydays.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-league-has-spoken-pirates.html</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">It was tough to pick a post from ShezCrafti (she is a hilarious writer and just great people in general) but I went off the beaten path and chose her Christmas post where she actually offered to send her devoted followers a REAL LIFE CHRISTMAS PRESENT How cool is that? </span><a href="http://shezcrafti.com/merry-geekmas-come-get-your-presents/"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">http://shezcrafti.com/merry-geekmas-come-get-your-presents/</span></a><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">A very funny (and in my experience of being around my wife while she is costume crafting) very true depiction of How To DIY a Halloween Costume from a guest blogger on Talk Star Wars To Me! </span><a href="http://talkstarwarstome.blogspot.ca/2012/10/how-to-diy-halloween-costume.html"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">http://talkstarwarstome.blogspot.ca/2012/10/how-to-diy-halloween-costume.html</span></a><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Finally, Christopher Tupa. If you don’t know who that is, go educate yourself. I honestly don’t know why this guy isnt yet making tons of money from his wicked art skills! If any of my hairbrained schemes ever actually go anywhere and I “make it” I can’t think of many other people I would rather work with (too sentimental?) anyway here is his response to who he would have with him during a Zombie Apocalypse and seriously, check out his art while you’re there! </span><a href="http://ctupa.com/blog/?p=1193"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">http://ctupa.com/blog/?p=1193</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">As far as ideas for future topics go, I definitely have a few! </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong>-Extended cut:</strong> What happened right after the closing scene of your favorite movie or tv show season finale? Example: In The Twilight Zone's "Time Enough At Last" We close with our hero surrounded by books and he has just broken his glasses. It's a heartbraking scene for a bibliophile such as myself but in the extended cut the camera pans accross town to a man in similar torment. He is surrounded by pairs of glasses and glasses making equiptment and he wails to the sky "I finally have the time to practice my optometry craft...but no one to make glasses for!!! Why???"</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong>-Master of ONE Universe!</strong> If you were suddenly give any intellectual property ever created, which one would you choose and what would be your first project?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong>-Characters in search of Romance!</strong> Create a dating site profile for a famous fictional character. Include responses!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong>-Once More With Feeling!</strong> If you could revive any tv show to make a made for tv movie what would you choose and what would be the plot. Do you want to tie up loose ends left by it's cancellation? Do you just want to see more of these characters?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong>-The Twilight Zone</strong>- Turn a famous film, book or tv show into an episode of The Twilight Zone!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">...</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I want to wish The League a very happy birthday and I hope it keeps rocking and rolling for many years to come. And here's to me getting off (or should that be ON) my lazy butt and writing blogs for it more often! See ya in the funny papers guys!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Meanwhile at League of Extraordinary Bloggers headquarters...</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://thirtyishyearoldboy.blogspot.ca/2013/02/league-party-time.html?m=1#!/2013/02/league-party-time.html" target="_blank">Thirty Year Old Boy has some GREAT ideas for future prompts!</a></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://that-figures.blogspot.com/2013/02/feature-loeb-birthday-celebration.html" target="_blank">That Figures is also a veritable good idea machine!</a></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://goodwillhunting4geeks.blogspot.com/2013/02/happy-birthday-league-of-extraordinary.html" target="_blank">Goodwill Hunting 4 Geeks Paints a nice and humourous picture of his history with the leaque and some ideas for it's fture. Also this is my Favorite Post of the Prompt!</a></span><br />
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<br />Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-73954360113353305292012-12-31T16:45:00.000-05:002012-12-31T16:45:15.125-05:00I love it! All of it. Everything...forever.Sometimes the geek community can be a little bit cynical. Hold on! hold on! I know opening a blog with that kind of ridiculous, over the top statement can sometimes turn people off to the point that they just immediately stop reading but please. Bear with me.<br />
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It's just that for a group of people that refer to themselves as "the fandom" they sure do find a lot of reasons to hate each and everything they see. They over analyze, blow every continuity error out of proportion and freak out over every slight change the creators happen to make. But I'm not here to talk about those particular geeks. there's no way to help those poor souls, short of me appearing at their house in the middle of the night in chains, heralding the arrival of three ghosts.<br />
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I'm here to talk about a geeky group that could be saved. Those people on the opposite extreme. Who defend their favorite properties no matter what terrible nightmarish incarnations they might take. They are...oh...what's the word....<br />
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Don't get me wrong, I spend a lot of my time trying to add a little positivity to internet geekdom but there's being positive and then there's crazed, frothing, blind allegiance <br />
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When I meet someone who is a fan of Pixar I feel a special kinship. Pixar has done some great things. Monsters Inc is one of my favorite animated movies of all time. Incredibles is also great! However if you are such a Pixar fan that you don't see that there has been a sharp decline in their quality (especially since the mouse bought them) I just want to put my arm over your shoulder and have a serious talk with ya. You see buddy, when you say things like that it really worries me. It worries me a lot.<br />
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Since Disney purchased Pixar in 2006 they began a hideous transformation into merchandise focused, quality compromising sequel factory. Seriously ANOTHER Toy Story? A Monsters Inc Prequel? A Finding Nemo sequel?? Finding Nemo! Did anyone ask for that?<br />
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But still, there are people who love the company and everything it does. They'll stand there with a giant grin on their face and no sign of life behind their eyes. They'll go to the parks and the stores and buy every ounce of merchandise they can. They'll act like Pixar just keeps getting better and better even when they inevitably release Cars 3 and 4 and 5 and whatever countless TV shows, spin-offs and live action role playing games they decide to make with it.<br />
This doesn't do Pixar a service. It doesnt help anything. All it does is encourage the company to keep chasing the dollar.<br />
Don't worry about quality guys just keep making stuff, we'll buy it! We don't care, we just want stuff!!<br />
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And when you send that kind of a message our there, this is what you get.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Look at it!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">LOOK AT IT!!</span><br />
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If you really want to be a true fan of something you have to realize that things grow and evolve. You have to be open to change but don't be such an apologist that you're blind to things going horribly wrong with the property that you love. All the studios have to gauge the public's response to change is money. And when you start throwing cash around like a drunken action figure collector these companies think they're doing a good job. Next thing you know theyre making a third in the live action Smurfs series! Is that what you want?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdHAELvxYlVIYIk6-pRq7OnMW527yiVmEVDny8yJrpy-s2hAXZtTmwD_9hF3jBj8JKXMK7ja_yGhHNue2znGkzHFp9QFiavEC18HAeIjgvclYLDSkjAKN-T0Ru6zgmy4xzWi1EjiWnjqQd/s1600/smurfs-movie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdHAELvxYlVIYIk6-pRq7OnMW527yiVmEVDny8yJrpy-s2hAXZtTmwD_9hF3jBj8JKXMK7ja_yGhHNue2znGkzHFp9QFiavEC18HAeIjgvclYLDSkjAKN-T0Ru6zgmy4xzWi1EjiWnjqQd/s320/smurfs-movie.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Some things are just bad. Transformer was a great cartoon and a fantastic toy line. The Michael Bay movies were bad. Don't pretend they weren't Were not going to think your less of a Transformers fan. Were all friends here. Calm down.<br />
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Sesame Street was a great show, one of my favorites as a kid! It had a kind of homemade feel that kids could really relate to. It was like you really knew the character...like you really LIVED on Sesame Street. But please for the love of Muppets, don't pretend that the too slick, over produced CGI infested spectacle that's on TV right now has anywhere near the heart and soul that the show started out with. Please.<br />
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I mean Mr Rogers was a legendary TV program but after it finally left television you didn't see them making some poor excuse for a-OH MY GOSH! <span style="font-size: large;">PBS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!?!</span><br />
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I'm not trying to stand behind you with my hands on your shoulders like Emperor Palpatine trying to get you to embrace darkness and feed the negativity inside you, I just want you to use a little common sense. Love what is good and don't pretend to love what is bad. Seems simple enough right? We stood up to the Alien Ninja Turtle Movie! We stood up to the Star Wars Prequels! Let's just use this power toward everything, even the properties we love! Who's with me?<br />
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Anybody?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-zfpXJe2OHP0iJ7jIkR3vDCSd4C9fyZWFobRM2ahJ27wO4g6rhTjHZIIcS9ur1z4PIf_Hx9tyBo_v_bhv2QDs_uG95eBDkh9QTv5COYU5ROgMt3BZYISTvWn6Ie0g7iYma6Gmy_0dYcK7/s1600/32358704.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-zfpXJe2OHP0iJ7jIkR3vDCSd4C9fyZWFobRM2ahJ27wO4g6rhTjHZIIcS9ur1z4PIf_Hx9tyBo_v_bhv2QDs_uG95eBDkh9QTv5COYU5ROgMt3BZYISTvWn6Ie0g7iYma6Gmy_0dYcK7/s1600/32358704.jpg" /></a></div>
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Oh well.Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-72116270216939657302012-12-17T08:31:00.000-05:002012-12-19T16:11:11.356-05:00My dream job: an animated plan.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjejqtnDK_aTcOMbxjMw3CQNG4_iEx4C-GHqe_R3S2YNSVX-svMV_nEBfzj3SigrpF8Ias7mGh0zySOhNkUGKUw9D86ZWepQLACxEZ_GlyBnV7brJ4s9CYVxYAZ4OcAxaGCYkYz33L08OZR/s1600/leaguelogo_medium.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjejqtnDK_aTcOMbxjMw3CQNG4_iEx4C-GHqe_R3S2YNSVX-svMV_nEBfzj3SigrpF8Ias7mGh0zySOhNkUGKUw9D86ZWepQLACxEZ_GlyBnV7brJ4s9CYVxYAZ4OcAxaGCYkYz33L08OZR/s200/leaguelogo_medium.png" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Look.</span><br />
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I’m not going to lie or, as the kids say, “front.” This post about my Dream Job has an ulterior motive. It’s going to read like “Oh gosh, gee! I wish I could have this job! If Only!!”<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkD_gnF7LDHxiSHdQe3WzvemnqqcfC4JVBVtJCeIu6I7UcqOQ7wRSPPwrZDA8J8BC0Twc8Kw7ma6NKzibs5rDQQsezUt7f2JF8Bg3tOglxSbYI3ovN2rXXBOjHZKyj9DJGaTUmWGyYAPDu/s1600/the-pitch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="336" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkD_gnF7LDHxiSHdQe3WzvemnqqcfC4JVBVtJCeIu6I7UcqOQ7wRSPPwrZDA8J8BC0Twc8Kw7ma6NKzibs5rDQQsezUt7f2JF8Bg3tOglxSbYI3ovN2rXXBOjHZKyj9DJGaTUmWGyYAPDu/s400/the-pitch.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://archives.frederatorblogs.com/the_finster_finster_show/2006/01/18/pitch-dat-funny-show/" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee;">Frederator</span></a></td></tr>
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It’s going to be wistful, maybe some self deprecating humor etc; but in reality, it will be a cleverly crafted, finely honed appeal to some mysterious shadowy animation executive out there to actually give me a shot. I’ll add tags that will attract the attention of high-powered animators and show runners. I’ll shamelessly name drop animators and creators in a way that seems TOTALLY natural but will really reveal how hip I am as to who’s who in “the biz.” I’ll @message actual industry professionals when I “drop” this post on twitter AND there is at least a 75% chance that I will do the following:<br />
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Sneak into an animation studio, disguised as a clumsy and awkward temporary secretary and will strategically plan a random encounter. With mousy hair, over-sized glasses, a frumpy skirt and a partially tucked in (and miss-buttoned) blouse. I’ll walk, head down, holding a large pile of papers and “accidentally” run right into an animation exec. I’ll start apologizing profusely while making no eye contact (they hate that) and during the confusion, I’ll make “the switch.” Grabbing one of her folders containing executive-type paperwork possibly the most recent, really impressive raise for a valued employee such as…<br />
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<strong><em>Aliki <span class="st">Theofilopoulo</span>s Grafft</em>; who’s broad experience in film and TV animation has made her one of the most respected talents in the industry! Want to know why? Treat yourself to her Emmy nominated work on the hit animated TV show “Phineas and Ferb!” And after that, be sure to check out her latest project</strong> <a href="http://alikigreeky.tumblr.com/search/millie+gorgon" target="_blank">Millie Gorgon!</a><br />
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<strong>An original series about the daughter of Medusa and Poseidon living the life of a modern (ancient greek) teenage Gorgon. It’s full of fantastic writing and character development so charming it’s sure to turn even the stoniest heart to…well, stone… Anyway it’s going to be huge!</strong><br />
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…The executive will have me thrown out of the building of course; not because I spilled her papers and not because I’m obviously a man in drag but because I bumped into her and executives never allow themselves to be touched by anyone “beneath” them. I’ll be tossed out onto the street but the switch will already have been made and she will eventually read this post; captivated, and impressed with how easily she had walked into my perfectly laid ruse. I’m a weirdo who can get things done! …Like Babe Ruth calling his home runs.<br />
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But this is only the most recent step in my 8 step plan that has been two decades in the making.<br />
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To start with, I watched cartoons. I hear you all out there, “lots of kids watch cartoons” you say; to which I reply with a hardy “Pfffffff”. Those amateurs might have THOUGHT they were watching cartoons, but I was REALLY watching them. I stared so deeply into my television set that I gained a more profound understandings of the colorful characters on the screen than anyone should have a right to. From Snagglepuss to Count Duckula, I really got to know what makes those characters tick! Eventually, for some reason, other people stopped watching cartoons and “grew up” but that concept has always been pretty foreign to me. Why stop watching something that’s still so entertaining? Occasionally a coworker will bring up the fact that their kid watches Spongebob and I have to restrain myself from going into a half hour long explanation about how sophisticated the sight gags are on that show. How the world is incredible and the humor is so broad it could span three generations. I don’t even tell them how amazed I was when I spotted a Jack Benny reference in an episode because apparently other people don’t thing about cartoons. Ever. But I do.<br />
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Beginning in elementary school, I took matters into my own hand. Rather than just be a consumer of cartoons I decided to create! The story is an inspiring one and I think it would best by told by myself 8 months ago (from a post on April 29th)<br />
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<em>“When I was 12, the weirdness that up untill then and been subtle, sleeping just beneath the surface, finally became the dominant force in my personality. In 5th grade, I created my first comic book with my friend Brandon. It was called Pizza Man! (Pizza was pretty big in the early nineties, thanks Ninja Turtles!)</em><br />
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<i>Pizza Man was a lazy and carefree pizza cook working the night shift in a local pie joint. Next store to the pizza place is a bank which, on this night happens to be being robbed. The bank robber sets of explosives to blow the safe which causes an unforeseen chain of events, fusing our hero with the power of pizza. Flat and powerfull his head torso and arms were all made of pizzas and his fingers were pizza cutters! Pizza cutters… Anyway the explosion also shot the bank robber through the wall of the bank and into the pet store on the other side. Merging the criminal with a cat and creating the terrible villain Cat Man-Drew! Pizza Man and Cat Man-Drew would be forever locked in a comment with some kind of vague outcome that I never pinned down as it never got past issue one.</i><br />
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<em>The following year I kicked my career up a notch by founding “The Quick Witt Cartoon Company! Acting on information (that turned out to not be true) I was inspired by the story of three teenage girls who created a fun cartoon and actually sold it to Warner Bros, creating Tiny Toon Adventures!</em><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBSwxf0fXQGaQYzCbDBdVacJQF7Kx6mzOTzEX323NQRoRcDNUJ6a-_4ZROVx1Sz9ssh9OP-5D0QTZ_i2wp9152kij06nXmq5UzC6QJHn1eedvUm5JFF-LRDwtkU52Z6giHwFs9qvm_ZYTQ/s1600/004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBSwxf0fXQGaQYzCbDBdVacJQF7Kx6mzOTzEX323NQRoRcDNUJ6a-_4ZROVx1Sz9ssh9OP-5D0QTZ_i2wp9152kij06nXmq5UzC6QJHn1eedvUm5JFF-LRDwtkU52Z6giHwFs9qvm_ZYTQ/s400/004.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee;">A few of the beloved members of the Quick Witt Cartoon Company Family</span></td></tr>
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<em>I thought “If they can do it, you can too!” And I set to work creating my own television animation masterpiece simply titled “Rover” It was about a Houdini dog that could escape from any leash, fence or yard. The story followed the lives of his owners and their interaction with their faithful escape artist dog. Once he inevitably got away, we would find ourselves in a brand new world full of talking animals…stray cats, a bully dog (owned by the female love interest of Rover’s owner) an extreme sports goose and a bevy of oddball animal characters. The show would constantly shift back and forth between these two worlds both existing at the same time.</em><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhay4yeipGt5EOUnIVj0HoTT8z9UWHyFTYTJwbgVFBvoRyhX172JaKtcwNdQ54P77xbFsyo1AR0d6G9Z4ejYbkmnnPbXplT3_i67IYMIx9-AOpJspXpT5SWr7HX_VbE0Rw7sTib3O2zwyLk/s1600/rover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhay4yeipGt5EOUnIVj0HoTT8z9UWHyFTYTJwbgVFBvoRyhX172JaKtcwNdQ54P77xbFsyo1AR0d6G9Z4ejYbkmnnPbXplT3_i67IYMIx9-AOpJspXpT5SWr7HX_VbE0Rw7sTib3O2zwyLk/s400/rover.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee;">A rare, early "napkin sketch" of The Hit Animated series Rover.</span></td></tr>
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<i>I didn’t just dream up this cartoon and walk away I put in some real work. Using the unique talents of several of my friends, we created character sheets with personality information…drawings of each character…background shots of commonly used scenes…everything! </i><br />
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<i>I even got out my trusty cassette recorder and had individual voice recording sessions with my friends for each individual characters. This was the information I thought you had to put together to sell a cartoon to a major studio (as a 12 year old!) I was obsessed with the project and would put my friends to work every time we got together. I must have been a blast to hang out with!!”</i><br />
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Coming fresh off the frantic joy of creating a comic book then a cartoon and finally an animation studio, I took the next logical step. I became a dark moody “artist” started listening to underground rock and enrolled in Art School as a fine art major (re: future homeless person). At school I learned a ton of stuff I had no interesting in knowing. And the thing I learned most of all was that I didn’t want to be at art school. I soon left, turning my back on art and artists as a whole.<br />
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I wandered the earth, everywhere I went I did no drawing. Like a gunslinger that hung up his holster, refusing to ever kill again. I destroyed my palettes and put all of my artsy clothes in storage so I wouldn’t be identified. With no creative outlet; I began a sharp, downward spiral, at one point I sank low enough to watch a sporting event. Inevitably I returned to the world of artistic expression but this time I was doing something I actually loved. Had always loved. I was writing.<br />
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Though I love the art of animation (hand drawn and stop motion in particular) such as the amazing character design work of animation pros like <a href="http://optiknourishment.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Kris W</a> and <a href="http://crushcounty.com/" target="_blank">Alex Deligiannis</a>. All of my years of getting into the heads of Jem and the Holograms and He-Man as well as creating my own toons as a kid had all been leading up to one thing; writing for animation.<br />
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Unfortunately without the ability to actually<i> create</i> animation, the opportunities are non existent but my ridiculous story ideas and dorky sense of humor would not be contained: <a href="http://claymationwerewolf.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">The Claymation Werewolf Digital Digest</a> was born. With blogging I had the whole of animation history to work with. I could combine characters, practice my humor and meet fellow nerds. Most importantly I was writing and writing a lot. Setting deadlines and meeting them. It was one of the single funnest projects I have ever worked on and the writing only inspired me to write some more. I even started to consider the idea of returning to the world of cartoon creation and screen writing, as a result of encouragement (whether intentional or not) From Brian at Cool and Collected!<br />
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Through the blog (and the geek community it introduced me to) I learned about a project called <a href="http://studios.amazon.com/" target="_blank">Amazon Studios</a> that actually allowed for open submissions to create a film or an animated series. Working against my lifelong system of avoiding rejection by never trying anything, I began to actually put together a submission. As I worked on my “pitch bible” I began to fall in love with the entire process. Creating characters, writing a script, story summaries; world building. I sought advice from everyone I could think of and read every website and listened to every pod cast I could find on the subject of “pitching a cartoon” I recruited friends online to read my drafts and give advice and I wrote and re-wrote. Found an amazing online illustrator named <a href="http://ctupa.com/" target="_blank">Christopher Tupa</a> to produce my cover image and finally submitted my animated series. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: #eeeeee;">Park Land: A workplace comedy where the office is nature and nature is BIG business.</span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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In the end my project, “<a href="http://studios.amazon.com/projects/15135" target="_blank">Park Land</a>” was added to what Amazon Studios calls Notable Projects. It amounts to about 35 projects from 700-800+ received. It didn't win but that was just enough encouragement for me to keep my ludicrous dream alive. As we speak I am hard at work on my next submission and at the same time wracking my brain trying to figure out how I can gain the attention of a studio that would allow me to submit a project the old fashioned way. SO far I’m thinking the “pretend to be a secretary and sneak into a studio” thing might be my best bet! Even if I never get my dream job as a writer on an animated project, it’s going to be a blast trying!<br />
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Some folks will try to tell you that breaking into the animation industry is all about going through the proper channels. Going through animation school (preferably The California Institute of Arts or “CalArts“) making contacts and “networking and first and foremost living in Los Angeles but I’m here to tell you that the best path is definitely wacky hijinks, cobbled together into a nonsensical, decades long plan that only you are aware of. But hey, that’s showbiz.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Meanwhile, at League of Extraordinary Bloggers Headquarters!</span><br />
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<a href="http://shezcrafti.com/my-dream-job-is-to-do-nothing/" target="_blank">ShezCraft has a goal I greatly admire; doing nada</a>. <br />
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<a href="http://www.henchgirl.net/2012/12/badasses-in-boardroom.html" target="_blank">HenchGirl produced my absolute favorite post this week!</a><br />
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<a href="http://qtheadult.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/loeb-dream-job/" target="_blank">Jamie at Q The Adult sends Uhura to the unemployment line and takes her rightful place in Star Fleet</a>Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-65632547840624644502012-12-05T16:33:00.001-05:002012-12-06T08:21:50.958-05:00Power Rangers Themes Throughout The Ages!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN4TRSkbBRhrEPCdxPpii-eHA4YqcV31cfK3qj0Lnr7MEO_mpsX9j3ywyhgCfEBJUFssaWz-qoWs_kxV7jqC3B_yY7vAqdtwuNfnAM3Y-kB2eJSvoSOEYmshWGIXDA7d_5nM6wD50klrCQ/s1600/b3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN4TRSkbBRhrEPCdxPpii-eHA4YqcV31cfK3qj0Lnr7MEO_mpsX9j3ywyhgCfEBJUFssaWz-qoWs_kxV7jqC3B_yY7vAqdtwuNfnAM3Y-kB2eJSvoSOEYmshWGIXDA7d_5nM6wD50klrCQ/s400/b3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>Just Kidding = )</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-23204260858260738202012-12-03T15:15:00.000-05:002012-12-03T15:15:50.455-05:00I Can't Believe It's Not Christmas: The 7 Greatest Festively Fictional Holidays.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT3p6M0p24AazEsIggHjabXsH8wIxe2b-RjCldy-XlhxNe4ECX3EG8AyEPHdjMVoZclgo8HvskODe4vtEGyUvS10RTo8yTOvLtnwK0oAr7z09Ya9Y_bSFdYoJ45acMV1pDCp08bHDZbTRI/s1600/Werewolf-nightmare-before-christmas-226962_640_480.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT3p6M0p24AazEsIggHjabXsH8wIxe2b-RjCldy-XlhxNe4ECX3EG8AyEPHdjMVoZclgo8HvskODe4vtEGyUvS10RTo8yTOvLtnwK0oAr7z09Ya9Y_bSFdYoJ45acMV1pDCp08bHDZbTRI/s320/Werewolf-nightmare-before-christmas-226962_640_480.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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People come up to me on the street almost daily this time of year and it’s always the same old thing.<br />
“Claymation Werewolf, I keep trying to go to Christmas parties and then, only after arriving, do I realize that the party is in fact actually for some fictional holiday that has no bearing on reality whatsoever!” “with everyone constantly using the code word HOLIDAY instead of Christmas, how can I possibly distinguish all these different celebrations. I want to get my Christmas groove on CW! My Christmas groove!!”<br />
My response is usually pretty standard. As I remove their clenched hands from the lapels of my overcoat (an overcoat I might add that is far to classy and expensive to be touched by the sorts of people you run into outside of private clubs) My answer is this: “I’m workin’ on it!”<br />
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Well friends, the work (and the wait) is finally over! As a public service to all you Yuletide rump-shakers out there I have created a sort of field guide that should allow you to easily sort out one December holiday from another. I’ll give a short background on the holiday in question as well as what you might expect to see in regards to the party (and party-goers) associated with it.<br />
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*Note* I will not be discussing “Festivus” so all you hardcore Seinfeld fans can go ahead and add this blog to this year’s airing of grievances. = )<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Life Day:</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>(Origin: Star Wars Episode “The Holiday Special”</b></span><br />
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Apparently beginning as a fake Thanksgiving this geek holiday was quickly transformed into a fake Christmas, and over the years has become probably one of the most famous Wookie holidays on the Wookie calendar.<br />
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Background: Celebrated every three years on the planet of Kashyyyk, Life Day celebrates life. The various and plentiful forms of life on the Wookie Planet itself as well as the lives of Wookies who have fallen that year. Also, the new lives that have been brought into the world (they sort of shoe-horn a lot of things in here…) Wookies gather at the Great Tree Of Life, arriving from all over the galaxy to exchange gifts and sing traditional Wookie life day carols. On Life Day it is also traditional to enjoy the musical stylings of the late great Beau Arthur and to produce and air animated shorts. Little is known about the origins of these two traditions but they add, in their own way, to the rich cultural significance of Life Day.<br />
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If you are invited to a Life Day party, there is a very strong chance that you are on the planet of Kashyyyk there is also a chance however that you are in the midst of HARDCORE Star Wars fans. Either way you will find yourself in an extremely uncomfortable situation with strange hairy beings using unintelligible grunting instead of speech. Your surroundings will be very alien and incomparable to those you might experience among “humans.“<br />
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The red robes however are stunning and people should really be listening to Beau Arthur music and producing animated shorts anyway so, it’s not all bad!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Hogs Watch</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Origin: “The Hog Father” by Terry Pratchett </b></span><br />
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Hogs Watch is very difficult to distinguish from Christmas itself. There are traditional treats; cakes candies etc… Hogs Watch carols and of course a jolly toymaker who flies through the world, going down chimneys and delivering toys to all the good boys and girls.<br />
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The differences of course being that The Hog Father is a pig like being transformed from an ancient god of death and renewal who lives in a palace made of bones, who’s sleigh is pulled by four terrifying wild boars and who leaves the bad children bags of bloody bones.<br />
If you stumble upon a Hogs Watch party try to go with the flow. It really is a beautiful holiday and the similarities with Christmas should make adapting to it fairly easy. A few helpful hints however will make your Hogs Watch, one to remember!<br />
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-Hogs Watch is December 32nd. So mark your calendars accordingly!<br />
-Remember to leave out ALCOHOL (not milk!) as a worktime treat for the Hog Father and don’t forget turnips for his boars!<br />
-… This man<br />
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<b>Mr. Teatime (Pronounced: Teah tahmei)</b> is NOT part of the traditional Hogs Watch celebration. He is in fact a extremely sociopathic member of the assassin’s guild. He has been hired to Kill the Hog Father (something he’s given a lot of thought to) He would kill you and anyone else around him that he doesn’t have any use for at the time. Do not approach him regardless of how much he sounds like Johnny Depp’s Willy Wonka!<br />
-Have fun! Hogs Watch is only once a year!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Yak Shaving Day</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Origin: The Renn and Stimpy Show</b></span><br />
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Yak Shaving day is one of the most unique holidays on our calendar. Incorporating a series of seemingly nonsensical activities it can be a little hard to follow for those who have never been introduced to the customs.<br />
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On Yaksmas Eve, the Gilded Yak travels the world rewarding all of the good kids with gifts.<br />
Other Yak Shaving Day traditions including hanging diapers on the wall and filling your uncle’s boot with coleslaw. You also set out shaving implements around your sink in the hopes that the Great Gilded Yak will find your sink the most sincere sink of all and have himself in it. Waking on Yak Shaving Day morning to a shink full of Yak Shaving Scum is the greatest Yak Shaving Day gift of all.<br />
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If you have arrived at a Yak Shaving Day Party than you are probably a John Kricfalusi cartoon character in which case you’ve got much bigger problems than deciding what party to attend. At any rate Yak Shaving Day can be a lot of fun especially if you enjoy bizarre and somewhat disgusting holiday traditions (and who doesn’t) As an added bonus you might consider dressing like Stinky Wizzleteats and arriving at the party behind the wheel of a souped up sausage cart. A good time will be had by all.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>The Gratitude Festival</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Origin: Star Trek Deep Space Nine</b></span><br />
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The Bajoran Gratitude festival is strange and mysterious even by the standards set on this list. While it is hundreds of years old very few people can tell you exactly what is involved. Through in-depth research here are some things that we have learned.<br />
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During the Bajoran Gratitude Festival, your troubles or “grievances” are written on papers (a tradition borrowed from festivus) and the papers are burned signifying you leaving your troubles behind (also, signifying a love of fire) to continue the merry pyromania, bateret leaves are also burned. This doesn’t signify anything at all, bateret leaves just burn real good.<br />
They also get around to celebrating gratitude as everyone stands around being thankful after they burn stuff.<br />
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Only the bravest souls would dare stay in attendance at a Bajoran Gratitude Festival. The celebration relies so heavily on darkness, strange laser lights and smoky, smoky rooms, the holiday is really best summed up by the Three Dog Night song “Mamma Told Me Not To Come.” Light up those leaves and rolled up paper! And if you do decide to stay however make sure you always remember to pass the “gratitude!” Nobody likes a Bajoran Bogart man!!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Hearths Warming Eve</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Origin: My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic</b></span><br />
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Hearths Warming Eve revolves almost exclusively around the pageant. The play itself tells the story of the founding of Equestria as the vastly different groups The Earth Ponies, The Unicorns and The Pegasus’s learned to finally start working together in friendship.<br />
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As legend tells it, disharmony between the various pony groups summoned Wendeegos and caused the land of the Ponies to descend into cold and famine. Leaders of the three tribes journey to find land which can provide them with food and warmth. Their continued fighting on the journey eventually causes another attack by the wend egos and soon the three become litterally frozen. To try and keep warm, the three begin to talk abd laugh and eventually to sing. The harmony of their singing chases the windeegos away and eventually brings the three leaders and eventually the three groups together. The carols created on that night are still sung today.<br />
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To celebrate Hearths Warming Eve you need a very large party. A solid group of friends to help you act out the pageant and a much much larger group to serve as the audience. You’ll experience the Joy of the season, the magic of friendship and the glory of the stage!! I never attend a Hearths Warming Eve party without putting on my full body Fluttershy costume.<br />
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It isn’t an actual tradition of the holiday. It’s just something I enjoy.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>The Festival of the Bells</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Origin: Fraggle Rock</b></span><br />
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In the winter Fraggle Rock begins to slow down (whatever that means) and the Fraggles hold what the call The Festival of the Bells, in which they ring bells and celebrate to awaken the bell at the heart of Fraggle Rock and make sure it keeps moving.<br />
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They pay homage to the traditions of the day by dressing as Weebabeast the former gaurdians of the Great Bell back in the first days of the rock.<br />
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Despite the fact that a Festival of the Bells party will mean that you’re in a room full of Muppets, it won’t necessarily be a good time. The Fraggles as a people have a tendency to get a bit on the “heavy” side. Do you have any relatives that are those especially preachy kind of hippies? Yeah. It’s kind of like that. The trick is to try to keep the room in the singy dancy Kermit arms flailing kind of Muppet mood and keep it low on the message. One good tip is to make sure to invite a heavy contingent of Dozers and Gorgs. Those guys are a blast!<br />
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Also, don’t bother going on a brave and foolhardy quest to the heart of Fraggle Rock to prove (or disprove) the existence of The Great bell…it isn’t there. The bell in the heart of Fraggle Rock is in the heart of all of us and yadda yadda yadda…<br />
And in the end we all learned an important lesson. Right?<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Refrigerator Day</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Origin: Dinosaurs</b></span><br />
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Refrigerator day is really my kind of fake holiday. A day in honor of the storage and preservation of food is quite an idea. It’s creation allowed Dinosaurs to begin to set up permanent communities and no longer travel the world staying where good was plentiful and in-season.<br />
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This revolutionized Dinosaur society. In honor of the invention of the “keep it cold box” Dinosaurs celebrate with several time honored traditions.<br />
Dinosaurs decorate their entire house for “fridge” day but pay special attention to the decoration of the Refrigerator itself. They exchange gifts, sing jolly Refrigerator Day carols to celebrate commercial products and have a Refrigerator Day feast, marking the end of the two day fast that leads up to the celebration. The center piece of the Refrigerator Day celebration is the annual pageant put on by each household where families revel in the warmth of the season by acting out the first Refrigerator day.<br />
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Refrigerator day is a family holiday and if you are invited to participate in the celebration you should consider yourself honored. Refrigerator is a day of peace, of spiritual contemplation and togetherness.<br />
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A triumph of the human (or dinosaur) spirit prevailing over hardships and finding the ability to discover such warmth during a holiday created to celebrate cold storage. A time to pay homage to the past, to appreciate what we have and to strengthen those bonds that hold us all together.<br />
If you have a choice though, I’d skip the family party and head to the one at the department store. They have an orchestra and lasers!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And there you have it. I hope that this list will help you with your festive party planning this year. Maybe as a sort of cultural experimentation you can try to partake in the merryment of several of these parties after all this world won’t be hurt by all of us understanding each other just a little bit better. Just please, for the love of everything good in the world don’t accidentally stumble into a Fraggle Festival of the Bells in a My Little Pony costume! Those two groups absolutely HATE each other.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Merry Christmas Everybody!</b></span><br />
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Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-88822187539426926492012-11-18T20:47:00.000-05:002013-08-19T19:44:16.422-04:00What If Todd McFarlane Had Created The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hello.<br />
My name is the Claymation WereWatcher .<br />
As you may well know, we WereWatchers are ancient beings, at once surrounded by the lives and choices of millions of souls…yet forced to be witness to the choices without ever getting involved. Except of course for the constant instances in which we do.<br />
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Throughout the ages of human history there have been several turning points. Pivotal moments that forever changed the course of human events and the direction that humanity as a whole would take. I believe that it goes without saying that one of the most formative events in the history of your world is the formation of the greatest team of heroes mankind has ever known: The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.<br />
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In 1987 “Totally Awesome LLC” a joint corporate venture between Dark Horse Comics and Dominoes Pizza) hired too young Artist/Activists named Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, to create a marketing campaign in the hopes of boosting their sluggish sales. While Eastman and Laird had originally designed “The Turtles” as a vehicle of protest against both the nationwide epidemic of Toxic Ooze, sewer dumping and the plague of pet abandonment, they immediately resonated with the stuff-buying public and became one of the biggest moneymaking properties in the history of martial arts-trained animal history.<br />
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We all know the story of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Four turtles raised in the sewer by their master, father and sensai. A creature who began life both as a human ninja master and a pet rat owned by a ninja master who, once exposed to a terrible substance called mutagen (which had already blinded a young actor named Ben Afleck, allowing him to see people in the rain using sonar as well as given him the ability to do amazing playground equipment parkour.) The mutagen turned The rat into a man and the man into a rat and the deposed ninja master into a ninja master rat hybrid kinda….okay okay look. I am a watcher but I may not have been paying SUPER great attention and it kinda seemed like the origin stories kept changing. But at any rate Splinter (or master Yoshi) had pet turtles while he was living in the sewer and they crawled around in the mutagen too which turned them into human turtle monsters. They go on to learn ninjitsu, stop crime, take on a huge evil ninja master and his pet brain alien, eat a ton of pizza bring back surf culture slang, meet just under 93 other mutant animal creatures and sell enough merchandise to fill Manhattan.<br />
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The public was buying everything they could. Ninja Turtle Skateboards, Ninja Turtle Sleeping Bags, Ninja Turtle TV’s, Ninja Turtle Cars…Houses! And, on top of that, the New York Sewer System became a more popular vacation destination than it had ever been before! There were movies, books board games etc. The Turtles became so popular that they eventually starred in a crossover event with one of the most critically acclaimed Comic Book properties in funny book history. Todd McFarlane’s Spawn.<br />
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Yes that was how it happened. But as a Werewatcher I know that “the way it happened” is really only “one of the ways it happened” You see, there are millions upon millions of universes and concerning the origin of the Ninja Turtles there is another… One where their history is quite different and just maybe, more powerful than ever. And that my dear mortal friends, is the one I’d like to tell you about today.<br />
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What if Todd McFarlane had created the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?<br />
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Rather than being a misguided political scheme turned pop culture darling, McFarlane’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles never left the realm of…art. Unleashed upon an unsuspecting public in 1984 “Turtles”<br />
Focused largely on the tragic figure of Casey Jones, a former professional athlete who in an attempt to preserve his legacy, made a bargain with an ancient evil in exchange for athletic talent. Unfortunately the deal came with a price in the form of a possession by a monstrous spirit. Tortured with constant maddening visions his career came to a horrible end when he murdered an opponent on national TV. Using his superhuman physical abilities he evaded capture by the authorities but was forced to go into hiding, concealing his once famous face behind a battered hockey mask. Living on the streets as a vagrant he began to dream of a redemption for a light to pierce the dark prison that his life had became and he decided that the only way to save his soul was to stop the evil the thrived in the city. HIS city.<br />
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Declaring war on the murderers, rapists and gangs that lived like a plague on the streets of New York. Living in the sewer and attacking under the cover of night. McFarlane tapped into the darkest recesses of his blackened soul to create a twisted, cold and violent world but the adventures of an insane and hyper-violent vigilante would not, alone be enough to satisfy his artistic expression The Ninja Turtles themselves added a darkly paranormal facet to the series and soon became an underground favorite among the die-hard fans. Grotesque and savage, the turtles were discovered by Casey in the depths of the sewers and soon they were fighting by his side. Even less reserved than himself the turtles seemed to physically reflect the monstrous forces that raged within him. Visually the turtles were quite disturbing, mottled skin a mouth full of rows of long jagged teeth and headbands that flowed in the wind seemingly of their own power. Led by a frothing rabid mutant rat the turtles were trained killers but it was never revealed to readers or to Casey Jones himself whether the turtles truly existed or were yet another vision of his endlessly haunted reality. The only force that kept Casey Jones even remotely grounded in reality was a young and beautiful paranormal investigator named April O’Neil. Driven into the sewer system in search of an avenging spirit she found one in the form of Casey Jones but rather than turning him in to the world she soon joined his cause and the two shared the most twisted romance since Donkey Kong and Princess Toadstool.<br />
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The series carried on throughout the 80’s developing a huge cult following and taking the black and white indie comic book world by storm. As the 90’s approached however, the world of comic fandom began to demand more. They wanted color in their comics! They wanted glowing eyes! Glossier pages and much much longer headbands! Todd McFarlane was ready to answer that call and though the turtles had been exclusively his domain, he knew he would need help to turn his creation into something the modern nerd could love. Todd contacted two of the greatest people he knew. Friends he had not seen since childhood when they went on an adventure to unearth a hidden pirate treasure and save their small town from a ruthless land developer.<br />
Their names were Mr Rob Liefeld<br />
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And Mr Jim Balent.<br />
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Liefeld was the yin to McFarlane’s Yang, taking the dark foundation Todd had created and cranking the amplifier up to eleven. He added nearly everything that the comic was missing he added 150-200 lbs of muscle to all the charaters, he added dynamic posses and an updated look with squitier eyes, more colorful costumes and oh the weapons! Rob Liefeld convinced McFarlane that what the ninja turtles truly needed was to get rid of all that ninja crap and to get some real firepower and soon the turtles and Casey Jones were sporting guns as big as their enormous arms! Todd found himself creating bigger and badder enemies to warrant the upgraded arsenal. A hideous living brain within a mechanically infused, reanimated body, giant mutant animal creatures and even a huge main villain named the Super Shredder and deformed Japanese man with a huge drill for a left arm and a machine laser gun for his right. The pages soon became so full of explosions, gunfire and blood that it was sometimes impossible to tell what was going on in the story and the comic reading public LOVED IT.<br />
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Other than some assistance with what was left of the dialogue Jim Balent found himself overshadowed by his two partners. He soon found his niche however in the character of April O’Neil and he spearheaded her makeover into a Balent style character decided that from now on she would be wiccan! He also added a couple other new features that fans seemed to really enjoy! As he would later state in an interview “Hahahaha boobies!! Ooooh yeah!!”<br />
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The Turtles continued to evolve and soon Casey Jones was written out of the story all together and soon the books were just an excuse for The Ninja Turtles to kill everyone and everything in their path with huge cartoonish guns and for April O’Neil to purse her lips and bend over things. The popularity soon eclipsed anything the comic world had ever seen. Books like Superman and Spiderman were pulled from the shelves as their were taking up too much non-Turtle space. Todd McFarlane, Rob Liefeld and Jim Balent became rich beyond their wildest dreams and soon Ninja Turtle Sewer Theme Parks were popping up all over America. The critically acclaimed film adaptations by Michael Bay only cemented the Turtles place as the most honored intellectual property in the history of man.<br />
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And so my friends, as you can see. While the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles may have been popular in your world it could have been so much more. I can only hope that you as a society have appreciated the works of Todd McFarlane, Rob Liefeld and Jim Balent. Recognizing their contributions to the world of Comic Books and the works of genius they truly are. Though you may never be able to hold in your hands the force of nature created by their collaboration you can know that somewhere, somewhen there are those who do.<br />
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As I take my leave of you I would like to say, in the time honored traditions of WereWatchers everywhere.<br />
<br />
Cowabunga Dudes.<br />
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<br />
ELSEWHERE in the League Of Extraordinary Bloggers!!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://strangerwithfriction.blogspot.com/2012/11/orders-from-league-what-if.html" target="_blank">I like the way Stranger With Friction thinks! I just hope he doesn't tell Charlie to think towards me!</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.henchgirl.net/2012/11/biker-mice-in-bay-land.html" target="_blank">HenchGirl wants to separate Michael Bay from His Destiny: TMNT...as if!</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.crookedninja.com/2012/11/league-assignment-what-if.html" target="_blank">The Crooked Ninja Turtle Gang does the impossible, they KILL the unstoppable, unkillable, money making machine Wolverine!</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://shezcrafti.com/what-if-daniel-lost-the-all-valley-tournament/" target="_blank">The always awesome ShesCrafti puts the Cobra Kai back where they belong. In the winners circle!</a></div>
Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-31227781240186289702012-06-18T22:29:00.000-04:002013-08-19T19:44:57.931-04:00I'm On A Boat, The Power of Kurt Russell.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is a LoEB post~</td></tr>
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Everybody knows that the life of Kurt Russel has been pretty gosh-darn epic! But few have ever sat down and thought about the single thing that had a bigger impact on his life and career than anything else…until now. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m here today to discuss Kurt Russell’s butt. <br />
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Oh my gosh, my sincerest apologies! That should have, of course, read: “Kurt Russell’s BOAT.”<br />
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Washed up actor, struggling carpenter and amateur poor person, Kurt Russell began got his big break on a boat in 1972. Hired by actress Goldie Hawn to design a closet in her yacht that was capable of storing 8,000 pairs of shoes and her “sweet bippy”. After the work was complete, the two became entangled in a heated contract dispute and Russell attempted to murder the Hollywood icon by throwing her into the murky depths of the sea. As a result of the accident, she experienced amnesia and was abducted by Russell who used her for slave labor to cater to the every need of himself and the actors he had hired to play his children. As a result of the free time allowed to him by the relentless oppression of the beautiful blonde starlet, Kurt whiled away his free time on meaningless pursuits like designing miniature gold courses. <br />
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Incredibly, one of his ridiculous concepts was purchased and he became a miniature golf tycoon nearly overnight. Due to a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome, Goldie Hawn agreed to marry him and the two lived for years in the lap of luxury provided by their enormous combined wealth. As time passed, however, Kurt began to grow restless.<br />
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Wanting the status symbol that comes with billionaires buying their way into careers they have no qualifications for, but too lazy for training in the space program; Kurt Russell forced an elite scientific expedition in The North Pole to allow him to be a volunteer employee. He spent most of these months being “edgy,” drinking, and learning to fly a helicopter his spare time was mostly taken up with battling and/or becoming an ancient and cruel alien shapeshifter. He eventually caused the death of every researcher on the compound, his own helicopter and two or three perfectly good alien monstrosities. <br />
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Stranded in the middle of a frozen wasteland, he did what many had done before him. He learned to play hockey. Quickly rising as a star in the Kurt Russell All By Himself League, he was eventually rescued by a pilot employed by Deus Ex Machina Airlines. He practiced hockey day and night and was eventually good enough to make it to the big times; playing against other people. Working (ie “buying”) his way up the ranks of the NHL, he became a hockey powerhouse at some position I don’t know the name of because I mean come on, it’s hockey, who cares? He eventually was chosen to coach the 1980 US Olympic team and they went on to humiliate Ivan Drago and his seemingly unstoppable communist hockey team.<br />
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Always a strong believer that you should quit any activity after you win a gold medal, Kurt Russell went on to the obvious next step; he became a firefighter. Partnered with fellow unqualified celebrity-firefighter William Baldwin. He fought incessantly with Baldwin but they where admired far and wide for their bravery and commitment to protecting the public<br />
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…until it was revealed that Kurt Russell was actually a lunatic, fire-obsessed arsonist. <br />
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Russell was finally brought to justice and thrown into a maximum security prison where he met Sylvester Stalone who was serving time for the 1982 slaughter of a sheriff's department in Washington State. <br />
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The two became fast friends and enjoyed action comedy misadventures and good-natured snappy dialogue before both were finally released for “celebrity behavior” <br />
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Without a career, a home or a wife; Kurt Russell inexplicably began wearing an eye patch again and became a drifter; traveling the United States and “escaping” from various cities until finally he began to hear a familiar call from the sea. Once again Kurt Russell found himself on a boat, serving as Captain for fellow actor Martin Short and his family as they engaged in a ocean vacation with hopes of bringing their family closer together. <br />
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Weeks into the voyage, Russell slept with Short’s wife, turned his family against him and left the actor/comedian so despondent that he refused to participate in a planned Three Amigos sequel. It was rumored that he no longer even made public appearances as the universally-beloved character Ed Grimley.<br />
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Feeling mildly guilty for ruining Martin Shorts life, Russell slept with his wife one last time and continued on his journey. Dedicating his life to public service, he ran for Mayor of New York; gaining the cities goodwill through his history as a firefighter. Totally ignoring the fact that his firefighting career ended in his conviction as a murderer and arsonist, he was elected in a landslide. His political career was uneventful and would make for really poor blogging material (if one were so inclined) and he eventually retired. In the twilight of his career he decided to revisit, one final time, the place where it had all began and he set out on a voyage…on a boat.<br />
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The New Year’s Eve voyage on the Poseidon was one of the most glamorous nautical year end celebrations to ever sail the North Atlantic and the guests came from all walks of life…mostly rich walks though. As all giant, disgustingly expensive ships full of wonderful rich people do; the ship predictably sank killing nearly everyone on board.<br />
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No one quite knows if Russell survived that fateful voyage or, if he did, what became of him but years ago I ran into a salt of the earth, rugged and witty truck drive named Jack Burton and he told me that he heard Kurt Russell was thinking about getting back into acting.<br />
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...Hah! Good luck with that buddy!<br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Elsewhere in the League of Extraordinary Bloggers, Russellverse!</span></strong><br />
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<a href="http://greenplasticsquirtgun.blogspot.com/2012/06/league-of-extraordinary-bloggers_18.html" target="_blank">Apparently, KR also made movies and Green Plasitc Squirtgun gives us a list of hist 10 favorite</a><br />
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<a href="http://geekittillithurts.wordpress.com/2012/06/18/league-assignment-kurt-russell-the-roles-only-he-could-play/" target="_blank">TJ at Geek Till It Hurts gives us a rundownd of his top 5 Kurt Russell "Characters"</a><br />
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<a href="http://adamotomy.wordpress.com/2012/06/18/kurt-russell-thinks-val-kilmer-sucks/" target="_blank">Adamatomy teaches us just how cool Kurt Russell really is!</a><br />
<br />Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-3798309843684157892012-06-05T15:57:00.000-04:002012-06-07T16:11:32.047-04:00Claymation Werewolf hits the airwaves again!<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Claymation Werewolf (a.k.a. “Rhett Khan”) joins </span><a href="https://twitter.com/eclectik"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Eclectik</span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> and </span><a href="https://twitter.com/classickmateria"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Classick</span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> of the </span><a href="https://twitter.com/coldslitherpod"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Cold Slither Podcast</span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> and Later in the show, </span><a href="http://twitter.com/NFCJD" target="_blank" title="Follow JD on twitter"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">J.D.</span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">, one half of the </span><a href="http://generalgeekerycast.buzzsprout.com/" target="_blank" title="Listen to the General Geekery Cast"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">General Geekery Cast</span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">, for lively discussion of The Disney Afternoon! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">This makes the 2nd podcast appearance of my crazy boss on Cold Slither Podcast! (Or on any podcast for that matter)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Check it out.... It's the Disney Afternoooooon!</span><br />
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<a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.com/2012/06/05/episode-33-slither-adventures-the-disney-afternoon-show/"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Episode 33: Slither Adventures – ‘The Disney Afternoon’ show</span></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">~Phishbon3s</span>Phishbon3shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12922255818275044341noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-89199959424234552342012-05-29T15:48:00.000-04:002012-06-07T15:49:02.575-04:00Wild Shot! Ugly Shot! My adventures in NBA Jam!<div style="text-align: center;">
First posted on May 28th, 2012 on The Cold Slither Podcast - <span style="color: #631d93;"><a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.com/2012/05/28/wild-shot-ugly-shot-my-adventures-in-nba-jam/#more-2561" target="_blank">CW post link</a></span></div>
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<header class="entry-header" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="NBA-Jam" class="attachment-large-feature wp-post-image" height="261" src="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/nba-jam.jpg?w=465&h=261&crop=1" title="NBA-Jam" width="465" /><div class="post-date">
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</header><article class="post-2561 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-claymation-werewolf category-other-stuff tag-basketball tag-bill-clinton-basketball tag-charlotte-hornets tag-cheryl-henson tag-claymation-werewolf tag-hugo-hornet tag-nba-jam tag-no-skills" id="post-2561"><div class="entry-content">
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My life has always carried with it one continuous theme. My love for things that I happen to be a failure at. The list is practically endless…<br />
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Wanted to be in a band in high school but I had no musical talent (it turns out steering wheel drumming isn’t enough…) so my friends and I would just declare that we had a band, give it a name, maybe make a cool logo and then occasionally hang out and listen to music! All in all, I suppose it was a pretty sweet setup!<br />
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<a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/wyld-stallyns1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-2659" height="276" src="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/wyld-stallyns1.jpg?w=300&h=207" title="wyld-stallyns" width="400" /></a></div>
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Wanted to be a skateboarder. I mean, I listened to alternative rock and sometimes ska. It seemed logical that I would be good at kick-flips and ollies and…umm…other skateboard moves…? Besides Max and PJ made it all look so easy on Goof Troop I was absolutely sure if I built a half pipe in the backyard id be doing that sweet move where you roll down one side, up the other hold the skateboard up in the air then put it back under your feet and roll back down! Not only could I not skateboard to accompany my grunge music listening, I couldn’t even play hacky sack! I was a terrible hippie grunge kid!<br />
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<a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/gooftoop1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" height="308" src="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/gooftoop1.jpg?w=300&h=231" title="gooftoop" width="400" /></a></div>
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Among some of the other things I seem to be incapable of are:<br />
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<li>Carrying on a phone conversation without sounding like an idiot. (I’ve done a lot of stage acting and public speaking with no problems. I get terrible stage fright on the phone. I once worked in customer service. It was a total nightmare)</li>
<li>Playing chess</li>
<li>Learning a card game…<em>any</em> card game</li>
<li>Figuring out the rules to RPG’s It’s supposed to just be cool fantasy stories and neat monsters. <em>Not hobbit math problems</em>!</li>
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Haha! Well, I could go on forever talking about things I’m not good at (and cry myself to sleep…again) but I’ve really only come here today to talk about one thing. <em>Basketball</em>.<br />
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<a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/normal_spacejam0005.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-2661" height="266" src="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/normal_spacejam0005.jpg?w=593" title="normal_SpaceJam0005" width="400" /></a></div>
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I was into basketball or “Ballin” or “Hoops” or “B-Ball” or “That game I don’t know how to play” Don’t get me wrong, I can shoot and I was a fairly decent shot, but that’s about where it ended. When I would hang out with friends I would ask if they wanted to “shoot around” which was, for me, another way of saying; “Hey buddy! I’m clumsy, slow and about three apples high so let’s play basketball in a way that won’t highlight the many physical and talent-based disadvantages that I have!”<br />
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Back in the day, I even had a favorite team! And that team was <em>The Charlotte Hornets</em>.<br />
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<a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/charlotte_hornets.gif" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-2662" height="300" src="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/charlotte_hornets.gif?w=300&h=300" title="charlotte_hornets" width="300" /></a></div>
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I loved the Hornets for the obvious reasons that all other sports fan guys did. What? No. Who are Alonzo Mourning and Larry Johnson? No, I like them because they had a cool color scheme and the team logo (which I loved) was drawn by Cheryl Henson Daughter of the Late Great Jim Henson (Pictured here with Carrol Spinney, puppeteer of Oscar the Grouch)<br />
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<a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/cherylhenson_carrollspinney.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-2663" height="266" src="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/cherylhenson_carrollspinney.jpg?w=593" title="cherylhenson_carrollspinney" width="400" /></a></div>
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I’m a huge Henson fan and a sucker for a good cartoon mascot…not to mention the fact that I look great in turquoise and purple. That isn’t why everyone else like Charlotte? Well, anyway, I had lots of merchandise; Hornets shirts (even a sweet Looney Tunes shirt!)…<br />
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<a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/charlotte_looney1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-2665" src="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/charlotte_looney1.jpg?w=593" title="charlotte_looney" /></a></div>
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… a couple caps, even Charlotte Hornets Pencils!<br />
My favorite way to enjoy basketball was to lead my team: Muggsy Bogues, Alonzo Mourning and Larry Johnson into the brazen basketball battle known as NBA Jamjamjamjamjam! Tournament Edition!<br />
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<a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/105017.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-2666" src="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/105017.jpg?w=593" title="105017" /></a></div>
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When I say “lead” my team, that might be a bit of an exaggeration. While I was bad at playing basketball, I absolutely SUCKED at NBA Jam! When I think back on the countless full court brawls between my Hornets and The Dallas Mavericks (the first team in the lineup) I would play for hours, occasionally I would be “heating up” and sometimes even “on fire!” But I would never beat the Mavericks…I started to wonder maybe this was some kind of goofy backwards game where they actually make you play the hardest team first. I couldn’t beat them to save my own life even if I used The Cheat Code to play as <em>Hugo Hornet</em>!!<br />
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<span class="embed-youtube" style="display: block; text-align: center;"><iframe class="youtube-player" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/QJG4vzuiUqo?version=3&rel=1&fs=1&showsearch=0&showinfo=1&iv_load_policy=1&wmode=transparent" type="text/html" width="420"></iframe></span><span class="embed-youtube" style="display: block; text-align: center;"></span> The audience was always incredibly polite. Only cheering at the appropriate times (<em>boomshackalacka</em> for instance). The rest of the time they would sit in complete (and sometimes uncomfortable) silence, sitting in their seats raising and lowering their fists, often in a very inappropriately looking way… The stadium was so quiet you could hear everything on the court from the swooshing sound that a player’s arms make when he moves the ball to the sound of feet squeaking on the court (which always sounded like crickets to me). Yeah the fans were polite, which was more than I could say for the Dallas Mavericks. Those guys were outrageous! I would try to make a shot and they would jump up and keep the ball (or, “rock”) from going in the hoop (or, “hoop”). They would take the ball from me while I was trying to dribble down the court! Sometimes when I tried to see if I could get the ball from them they would swing their elbows around and knock me down!! On purpose! The ref never called any of it and they didn’t even take it easy on me when I was Bill Clinton!<br />
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<a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/bill.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-2667" src="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/bill.jpg?w=593" title="bill" /></a></div>
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I’ve been meaning to try to start brushing up on NBA Jam again and it’s gonna be different this time! Finally I’ll be good at the game, maybe take up basketball again too! <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Real</span> basketball! After that it’s a matter of time before I possess all the skills that have always eluded me!<br />
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As far as The Charlotte Hornets? I’ve never stopped being a loyal fan. Every year I follow their every game and cheer them on to success! <em>What? They Did?….New Orleans? The Bobcats? Damn it! Oh well…</em><br />
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See ya next time everybody! <em><strong>Razzle Dazzle!!!!</strong></em><br />
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</div>Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-35334232895129958792012-05-26T19:47:00.002-04:002012-06-07T16:14:01.105-04:00Count Duckula. Now on google+!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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In the latest assignment for the League Of Extraordinary Bloggers, we were asked to check out what a fictional character's social media account might look like. I decided to showcase one of my favorite cartoon characters. The Great, Count Duckula. In honor of a character who is a little less than alive, I decided to choose a social media site that shares those same qualities. The poor, lonely Google+ Things seem to be a little less than lively for our fanged fiendish friend! </div>
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Have some tomato juice and enjoy!</div>
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Elsewhere in the fictional friending universe, the league loyal have been brewing up some great posts!<br />
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<a href="http://www.lifewithfandom.com/2012/05/league-social-media.html" target="_blank">Ashley at life with the fandom gives us a hilarious glimpse into the world of Skeletor!</a><br />
<a href="http://memoriesoftoymorrow.blogspot.com/2012/05/this-weeks-assignment-for-league-of_23.html" target="_blank">Memories of toymorrow shows us tweets from the always wordy snake eyes!</a><br />
<a href="http://coolandcollected.com/tweets-from-skull-island/" target="_blank">Brian at Cool and Collected also heads to twitter to show us some KING sized one-liners from Kong</a>Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-39119637690773806832012-05-16T22:05:00.002-04:002012-05-24T00:23:05.278-04:00Claymation Werewolf. True Confessions.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is a LoEB post~</td></tr>
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Warning. <br />
The following blog post deals with subject matters of a graphically factual nature and may not be suitable for those with sensitive constitutions, allergies to shell fish or regular readers of the Claymation Werewolf Digital Digest. Please do not operate this blog while skiing, driving or participating in the physical act of love. If this blog lasts longer than four hours, then you are an incredibly slow reader. <br />
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It’s time to lay it on the line friends. I have tried, in my quest to be a highly respected geek, to keep certain things about me out of the public eye. Unfortunately forces beyond my control (this weeks League of Extraordinary Blogger topic) have forced me to once again reveal these dark truths. And so, with a sense of dread and regret, I present to you My Geek Confessions. <br />
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To begin with, I should get a big one out of the way. Comic Books: <br />
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I’ve been into comics my whole life. I collected them as a kid, I used to love them! And I still love…the “idea” of them. Unfortunately as ive grown older (and much, much cheaper) I’ve started to look at entertainment, with a “bang for your buck” attitude and at $4 dollars for about 5 minutes of reading the cranky old man in me starts yelling about what an outrage it is…what a waste of money! I know, I know comics are the perfect blend of art and story and the production of comics is an admirable and timeless art form…but come on, four dollars a piece?? I’ll be over there at the bargain bin, drinking some Ovaltine and listening to big band music.<br />
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As some of you may know I am a huge fan of Horror…especially slasher movies, growing up during “The Golden Age” of slasher films, I spent my childhood looking up to heroes like Jason, Freddy, Michael Myers etc… much to the confusion and uneasyness of my parents. <br />
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As OTHERS of you might know I am also somewhat of a “Brony” which is the cool, hip slang that is given to someone who is a fan of the cartoon My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic. What can I say? I know the cartoon was originally created for girls and I realize that it doesn’t exactly fit with the expectations people have of me but I like quality and MLP is quality humor, quality writing, a quality cartoon. And they give A LOT of nods to their adult fans! Even had an episode with several Big Lebowski jokes (side confession: I HATE the Big Lebowski) <br />
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Anyway if you look at my online life like a big party…I spend most of my time trying to keep my family from enteracting with the Biker Gang that I also invited. It’s that constant struggle to reconcile the horror fan in me with the lover of cute funny cartoons, and in fact, that is one of the reasons I originally chose the handle The Claymation Werewolf.<br />
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While we’re talking about horror, let me just say that it seems to get worse and worse as the years go by. Each new “fad” in the industry takes it down a peg. There was the slick, overproduced, teenager era ushered in by Scream (loved scream, not a fan of all of it’s clones) <br />
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Then there were all the remakes of foreign horror (dark water, the ring, the grudge, one missed call, pulse and the uninvited) I have to admit I’ve never seen a single one of these movies and I don’t feel like I’ve missed anything. <br />
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But above all, the bane of my existence, the lowest common denominator of horror; The Torture Porn. Audition, Catch Me If You Can, Toristas, Hostile and of course Saw. <br />
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These movies have no story, no character development and no point. They’re popularity would make me fear for the future of one of my favorite movie genres if it weren’t for the popularity of a little movie called Trick r Treat. <br />
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The perfect Halloween film and an underrated treasure of an anthology, horror movie. I can only hope that it’s cult following will lead to quality films and an end to torture porn and constant TERRIBLE REMAKES OF 80’S SLASHER MOVIES. <br />
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Hollywood, Stop. It.<br />
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I’ve saved the most controversial for last. I want to talk about a few tv shows that tv could do without. First: Community. <br />
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I know, it’s a darling of the geek world, and I realize I’m in the minority of this but I just don’t get it! It’s full of “memes” and geek references, but I think that might actually be what bugs me about the show…I feel like some people sat in a room and decided “alright, we’ve put all the necessary stuff in here! Now the geeks will have no other choice but to love it!” The end result feels formulaic, boring and predictable. <br />
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Speaking of boring, formulaic and predictable, community has a cousin in the animated world, and it goes by the name of The Regular Show. <br />
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“But, Claymation Werewolf!” You might say “The Regular Show is FULL of geeky inside jokes!! Constant references to the 80’s!…it‘s hilarious” Not to me. To me, I just see those same tv excecutives saying “Okay Bob, now let’s make another show, the same way…hipster geeky stuff. But starring a…uhh… a Blue Jay!…and a Racoon! It could be a Cartoon. You know, for kids!” <br />
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But what about the people who think that Regular Show doesn’t have quite enough inside jokes? The hipsters who think it’s too close to “mainstream comedy?” For the ultra hip cartoon fan who looks down on the unsophisticated swine who aren’t “with it” enough to get the special unfunny comedy in their animated entertainment of choice; allow me to recommend Adventure Time! <br />
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Now, just like with Regular Show, I’ve given it a chance. Watched several episodes…but I am truly at a loss! Please! Explain to me why this show is worth my time to watch. Maybe I’m just not smart enough to understand the advanced humor….wouldn’t be the first time.<br />
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And, for the record it isn’t that I just live in the past with cartoons and can’t stand anything new…Spongebob is great! I love Phineas and Ferb and I was a big fan of Chowder. <br />
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So maybe this poor simple country blogger just needs educated! Anybody?<br />
And so, that concludes my self destruction of any popularity I had built in the geek blogging community (thanks a lot Brian!) I hope some of you stick around after the show for the party (it’s gonna be WILD!) and to the rest of you, get off my lawn! I wanna read my 50cent bin comics and watch the My Little Pony goes to Camp Crystal Lake marathon!<br />
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To witness other bloggers letting it all hang out, check out:<br />
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<a href="http://thesurfingpizza.com/2012/05/15/geek-confessions/" target="_blank">The Surfing Pizza's Princess was ALWAYS in another castle</a><br />
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<a href="http://ctupa.com/blog/?p=1297" target="_blank">Christopher Tupa! Any friend of Spongebob and MLP is a friend of mine.</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.lifewithfandom.com/2012/05/league-geek-confessions.html" target="_blank">Ashley at Life With The Fandom takes on Cosplay...but I still like him</a><br />
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<a href="http://dorkhorde.blogspot.com/2012/05/league-of-extraordinary-bloggers-weekly_16.html" target="_blank">Reis at the Lair Of The Dork Hord Doesnt like Dr Who or Fantasy Novels!</a>Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-22776509310192869792012-05-13T23:45:00.000-04:002012-05-23T23:45:26.565-04:00National Puppet Radio Interviews Super Grover<div style="text-align: center;">
First posted on May 13th, 2012 on The Cold Slither Podcast - <span style="color: #631d93;"><a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.com/2012/05/13/national-puppet-radio-interviews-super-grover/" target="_blank">CW post link</a></span></div>
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These days everyone is talking about heroes. Everything from powerless real world vigilantes, to big budget comic book superheroes, on the big screen. The costumed crusader is all the rage in America. But what about those that fall into the gray area? Heroes who are actually out there, on the streets making a difference and doing so with powers that most people consider the stuff of fantasy!<br />
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Today I have been given unprecedented access to one such, real life super hero; that champion of Metro City, Super Grover. Reporting for National Puppet Radio, I’m Rhett Kahn.<br />
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After about an hour of Super Grover trying to assist me with things like crossing the street and buying a gallon of milk (all of which he did shockingly wrong) I was finally able to convince him that I was a reporter. The reporter. The one that spoke to him on the phone earlier…about the interview that I was trying to do. He stared at me in silence for about 5 minutes before he finally “got it” but after he did we were on our way.<br />
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I ask him to explain a little bit about what he does…what it’s like to be a superhero<br />
<em></em><br />
<em>“Well, you never really get used to it…the random interactions, the constant cries for help…even getting the strength to run through my paper logo every day, can really take it out of you. And in between everything else I have to make time occasionally to fight for truth, justice and the furry blue monster way!”</em><br />
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<em>“Every day, every night I patrol, handing out my own kind of justice to bad manners, forgetfulness and confusion whenever they make the mistake of crossing my path.”</em><br />
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<em> <em></em>I tell him how much I admire his desire to help those around him…to overcome these problems.<br />
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<em> <em></em>“No, no my friend. You see, this is not your precious real world, with it’s metaphors and abstract concepts. That is not how things work out</em> <em>here on the mean streets of <strong>PBS.</strong> What I mean is that hideous, monstrous, living embodiments of these things are out there; threatening to attack the proud citizens of Metro City and I, Super Grover! Am the only one who can stop them!”</em><br />
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<em> <em></em>“The life of a sentry is not an easy one….even for someone as vigilant, fearless, ruthless and adorably furry and blue as me! This helmet isn’t just for looks kid. There have been nights when I absolutely got the stuffing beaten out of me, but I always won in the end. Justice…has to win.”</em></em><br />
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<em></em>I suggest that instead of speaking into the electric meter, talking into the microphone that I’m holding might allow him to be heard more clearly you know when he’s on the radio.<br />
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<em></em>Super Grover seemed taken aback. “<em>You mean I, Super Grover! Am going to be on the radio??”</em><br />
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<em></em>I once again, explain to him that yes millions of people are excitedly waiting for him to be on the radio.<br />
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<em> <em></em>“But you see this is quite impossible. There is no way that I could be on the radio, I am much to large and the radio would surely become broken…I could not live with myself if I broke your radio, and with so many people watching.”</em><br />
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<em> <em></em>I take off my glasses and rub the bridge of my nose in a classic (and hilarious) straight-man reaction shot.<br />
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<em></em>The rest of the interview continued on in this fashion and slowly I began to realize that this hero might not be the sharpest tool in the shed. Sure, we all owe him a debt of gratitude for his long public service and the responsible way that he roughs up two-bit thugs on a regular basis, but in terms of an interview he might not be what this reporter was looking for. After all, everyone knows that public radio and public television is staffed with nothing but the smartest and most sophisticated members of society and the people we feature need to be of that caliber.<br />
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<em></em>Snapping to attention Super Grover suddenly pointed behind me, shouting, <em>“What is that! Why it is a giant, talking lobster!!”</em><br />
<br /> <em></em>I quickly turned scanning the skyline in an attempt to spot the creepy crustacean but it was no use. Try as I might, I couldn’t see it anywhere. And when I turned around the super powered Muppet was gone. In his place was mild mannered, ace doorknob salesman Grover Kent a very un heroic furry blue monster, different from Super Grover in every possible way.<br />
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<em></em>And so, after buying a large order of doorknobs (he really was quite the salesman) I began to make my way home, proud to have been able to meet a hero such as Super Grover. And it is a comfort to know that somewhere out there, he watches…ever ready to spot crime and to stop it. Making the streets just a little bit safer for the rest of us. Unlike Grover Kent, who, when last I saw him was trying to sell doorknobs to a phone booth. What a weirdo.<br />
<br /> <em></em>For National Puppet Radio, I’m Rhett Kahn.<br />
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</div>Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-31944976286998493302012-05-09T23:27:00.001-04:002013-08-19T19:45:52.280-04:00Evil's Castle. The Theatrical Trailer<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://coolandcollected.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/leaguelogo_small.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is a LoEB post~</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Begin Theatrical Trailer...<br />
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We are presented with the familiar logo for the Quick Witt cartoon company as the soft sounds of a music box slowly plays. <br />
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As the screen fades to black and then fades back to light, the music begins to take on an eerie and disturbing quality as a castle comes into focus. A beautiful and exotic castle. A music box castle under a gathering storm.<br />
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Eureeka, a young wizard, screams to her loyal dragon friend, over the howling wind.<br />
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“Magellan, there’s got to be something I can do. I must protect the castle. Must protect all of us!”<br />
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Flashback.<br />
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It seemed the deity that the inhabitants of the castle revere above all others, a formerly friendly giant has gone mad. The imagination that once kept the very heart of the castle beating has become twisted and insane; plagued by waking nightmares that are very real. <br />
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Because of the power the giant had over the castle, his nightmares came to life; in the form of unfamiliar creatures drawn across the land to the castle itself. <br />
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Those who lived in the castle believed in friendship; they believed in sharing, cooperation and caring. They believed in their hearts that they could reach out to these new creatures… they could help them to understand. <br />
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When the battered and lifeless body of the brave Sir Klank was thrown violently over the wall, they realized how fatally naïve these beliefs were. <br />
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The lifelong friends now joined together, toward the most important purpose they had ever faced. To defend the castle walls and save their own lives. <br />
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...It could not have gone worse.<br />
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The quirky character flaws that had once been so charming, now threatened the very existence of everyone in Eureeka's castle. <br />
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Magellan, the dragon inadvertently smashed the castle doo'sr support beam with his tail, allowing 3 nightmares to slip through the gates and terribly wounding two guards.<br />
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Batley’s near-sightedness failed him on the tower walls. And his arrows missed their mark but brought the life of Mr. Knack to an end. <br />
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Horrified and helpless, Eureeka climed to her room within the highest tower and begin to pour through the all of the magic tomes at her disposal. Finally settling her eyes upon a book she never thought she would have to touch…a book of incalculable evil. The Evil Book of Evil<br />
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And as her dragon friend held the nightmares at bay, she began to read. The wind rising in strength as her voice grew louder; reciting words that while foreign to her mind flowed easily upon her tongue as if they were spoken from the mouth of another.<br />
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At that same time in a land very different; a young man, battered and broken, shouted words of his own from a book just as evil. His single remaining hand clutching the leathery face stretched across its cover, he sought to banish the evil that took his girl, his friends, his hand and finally… his mind. Shouting the words in the book (incorrectly).<br />
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He opened a portal and was at once ripped blindly from the only reality he had ever known and dragged shrieking through a portal of darkness until he was slammed unceremoniously onto the ground. Within the walls, of Eureka’s castle.<br />
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Ash rises to his feet, dusting himself off with the hand that wasn’t a chainsaw. Before him stands Eureeka, Batley and Magellan. The young dragon stares in horror, towards Ash and begins to stammer "mmmm m-m-m-mmmMONSTER!!"<br />
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Ash holds up his hand. "Listen, you overgrown iguana, if anyone’s the monster here, it ain't m.."<br />
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His words are cut short as the Dragon blasts an immense ball of fire toward the new arrival. Ash begins to duck as the flames billow past him and engulf a shrieking hideous deadite, quickly reducing it to a smoldering heap.<br />
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The dragon stands horrified. “What, what have I d-done?”<br />
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Ash steps forward, “Kid, ya' done good, that’s what ya done!” He stares at his new allies…. weirder than normal, but hell, he’s survived all kindsa weird. Weird was his life now. “Name's Ash Williams, Housewares.”<br />
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The young wizardess steps in front of her friends and finds her voice “And what are you? Another one of the giant's nightmares?”<br />
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"Listen lady, or whatever the hell you are, this whole thing is a nightmare. But I’m doing my best to clean it up… now you felt freaks can join me or get outta my damn way…. Either way, I’ve got some preparations to make. What do you stuffed animals got for weapons?”<br />
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Batley piped up. “We never needed any weapons and we don’t need no filthy, loud-mouthed weirdo telling’ us what to do!” <br />
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Ash quickly turned, drew his shotgun and shot a Nightmare that was clawing its way through the window.<br />
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“No need for weapons huh? Take a backseat, geek”<br />
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Ashly shook his head “Jeez, I'm supposed to save the world with some wizard-wannabe, a winged nerd and their idiot iguana friend?”<br />
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As time passes the team begin to hone their skills and begin to become as hardened and vicious as plush-lovable puppets can be. They began to fortify the castle and turn any machine or appliance that isn’t totally necessary into a weapon. After weeks of training, the denizens of Eureeka's Castle become nightmare-slaying machines and we are treated to a delightfully violent montage with Ash doing his Ash thing, and the puppets doing their best. <br />
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Magellan crushing three nightmares in one thunder-like smash of his tail.<br />
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Batley dropping from the shadows upon an unsuspecting Nightmare and savagely ripping into its neck.<br />
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Two Nightmares making their way across the moat until two mud-covered furry twin creatures arise from the bog and pull the intruder beneath the surface, tearing them apart.<br />
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Ash shooting a nightmare point-blank with his shotgun before cutting a second one in half with his chainsaw, sending blood and foam rubber everywhere. <br />
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As this crowd-pleasing violence unfolds, Eureeka stays hard at work devising some way to keep the hideous nightmares at bay and wake the giant from his insanity once and for all. Pouring through page after page of the Evil Book of Evil!!! A plan begins to unfold. <br />
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Finally, the day has come and she gathers all of her friends to the tower. She stands staring into the dastance, her arm clutched around the book of magic as she beings to speak the magic words<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEWdCH4ZiLNZvSJKRMdBIuJxg7n9lU-aMamz5iGdUK-o6IIb4GsaU1TB6V1Z_oDSC8SHqv8cTtk5C3FIxa_8YtdFXrko0aoFqturWgaC72VYPX-MLUlbGVIa4eUdwj9QkfXVYhCPzOt59z/s1600/summoning+the+portal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dba="true" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEWdCH4ZiLNZvSJKRMdBIuJxg7n9lU-aMamz5iGdUK-o6IIb4GsaU1TB6V1Z_oDSC8SHqv8cTtk5C3FIxa_8YtdFXrko0aoFqturWgaC72VYPX-MLUlbGVIa4eUdwj9QkfXVYhCPzOt59z/s400/summoning+the+portal.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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“Book of Evil hear my plea!”<br />
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“Sends these nightmares far from me!”<br />
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“Portal open and send our foes“”<br />
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“Far away and long ago!”<br />
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As she continues to speak, an immense portal opens behind her, swirling and pulling every loose object into its gaping maw like a black hole.<br />
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Eureeka shouts to be heard over the din. “Quickly, Ash! I need the second book to call the nightmares to me and be rid of them forever!”<br />
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Magellan moves to action. “It’s okay, Eureeka! I’ll get it!”<br />
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And as the immense dragon turned to fetch the book for his lifelong friend; his powerful tail, as it had done so many times before, swung. Ash was knocked across the room, slamming into Eureeka and the two disappeared instantly into the portal. <br />
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They fall (again) to the ground and Eureeka immediately shouts “Magellan. No! Ash we have to get back! We have to save my castle! We have to…to…”<br />
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Ash stared in terror over her shoulder. “Listen, you hairbrained hippy! Before we can worry about your weird music box house, we got bigger fish to fry. How about you think of a plan for saving our own skins!”<br />
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She slowly turns and looks up to see what Ash was staring at as two huge figures loom above them and suddenly the air is shaken by a booming voice.<br />
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“Francine, you’ve been neglecting your housecleaning…we’ve got vermin!”<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Evil’s Castle. Fall: 2013.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">also coming to a theatre near you...</span><br />
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<a href="http://aeiouwhy.blogspot.com/2012/05/league-post-fandom-assemble.html" target="_blank">Dex smuggles an awe inspiring movie pitch into the league! Indiana Jones VS Cybermen? Sold!</a><br />
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<a href="http://coolandcollected.com/the-ultimate-western-crossover-event/" target="_blank">Saddle up with Brian for the ultimate western!</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.lifewithfandom.com/2012/05/league-ultimate-crossover-event.html" target="_blank">find out WHO the BORG are in this weeks life with the fandom!</a><br />
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<a href="http://ctupa.com/blog/?p=1269" target="_blank">Christopher Tupa works Tales of the Gold Monkey into his fantastic list of crossover ideas!</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.brandedinthe80s.com/" target="_blank">And Shawn Robare takes the world to the brink of dissaster in The Dagger Games Project</a><br />
<br />Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-84538471217344057762012-05-07T23:29:00.000-04:002012-05-23T23:29:36.494-04:00Where All My Old People At?<div style="text-align: center;">
First posted on May 7th, 2012 on The Cold Slither Podcast - <a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.com/2012/05/07/where-all-my-old-people-at/#more-2330" target="_blank"><span style="color: #631d93;">CW post link</span></a></div>
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I have just made an earth shaking discovery guys, I don’t know if you’ve realized this but…..TV Sucks! I know what you’re thinking “CW you’ve gone too far this time! You don’t know what you’re talking about! There are many great shows on TV, such as: <em>The Bachelor, Real Housewives, Dancing with the Stars</em>, etc. There is an endless variety to American TV these days! We’ve got <em>American Idol, The Voice, The X-Factor<strong>, The Singing Competitor, </strong>The Vocalist, The Songster</em>…You know, something for everybody. How dare you say TV is bad? take it back! Take it back!”<br />
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What passes for “Quality” TV today</div>
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Okay, okay, before you go all hysterical let me just say yes reality shows and teen soap operas are definitely educational and enlightening. I also don’t think anyone would dispute how spiritually fulfilling these shows are. The only problem I have is that they leave something to be desired in the <em>entertainment</em> department.<br />
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Have no fear though, I have not only figured out that TV sucks, I have figured out <em>why</em>! What we have here is a serious lack of old people shows. During the 1980′s, and 90′s this nation was treated to an extravaganza of sarcastic sharp-witted and usually crime-solving gray-hairs, and our television was never better!<br />
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Let me give you the first example, a little show called <em><strong>Our House</strong></em> starring Mr. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_orj4-inTo" target="_blank" title="Vintage Quaker Oats, mayne....!!"><strong>Wilford Brimley</strong></a>. A gruff, independent widower living alone until he’s joined by his recently widowed daughter and her two teenage kids. The kids have to adapt to life in California and to the new “my way or the highway” rules from Grandpa and they all end up learning from each other and teaching us what family really means.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfw362nrq9o84DQduk47BTy9kpqJaQivpmdPy5rf1eTEeWTEfKS1jPe8pXH8TLAYpQYf3s8-Krts8c0YJfxmxD_b4CirZEDpQi3vSVe-LBGROdJj02xe3cjMF4lc7c4s6VvIs6bPROfIDn/s1600/mustaches_wilfredbrimley151.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfw362nrq9o84DQduk47BTy9kpqJaQivpmdPy5rf1eTEeWTEfKS1jPe8pXH8TLAYpQYf3s8-Krts8c0YJfxmxD_b4CirZEDpQi3vSVe-LBGROdJj02xe3cjMF4lc7c4s6VvIs6bPROfIDn/s400/mustaches_wilfredbrimley151.jpg" width="311" /></a></div>
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Later this show would be adapted to film in the 1987 movie, <em><strong>The</strong> <strong>Lost Boys</strong></em> in which a middle aged woman moves her teenage kids to California, to live with her widowed father and eventually take on the forces of evil in a bloody and terrifying (and hilarious) battle to destroy grotesque, blood-sucking vampires. The creators of The Lost Boys took a few liberties in adapting the show, however. In the movie, the mother only has two kids…<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuTNV7kAMU17TMXwYFCj_ul7ZjrU256AEg5VJU97mdWHeSdr5feKaf9X5UdhmWh1mLO131pCSDuqZ0QmhdZQmknRGjywimf8rIOGdUxDv9xEHhk5X4KjT6oP-fUM1_lSDNkdxeWJ_6bNvB/s1600/lost-boys.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuTNV7kAMU17TMXwYFCj_ul7ZjrU256AEg5VJU97mdWHeSdr5feKaf9X5UdhmWh1mLO131pCSDuqZ0QmhdZQmknRGjywimf8rIOGdUxDv9xEHhk5X4KjT6oP-fUM1_lSDNkdxeWJ_6bNvB/s1600/lost-boys.jpg" /></a></div>
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Soon everyone got into the act. Middle aged women even tried to capture that sexy senior siren look! <em><strong>Mama’s Family</strong></em> ruled the airwaves and soon young women where showing up in floral print dresses and curlers at soda fountains and discotheques all over town driving the boys crazy!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_sI4g5u4Ra1MuxG5y0UcLivv-0TmB_irr5BOj3dFaOYQ4D3XdXd1M83pSb7DqSDtkL4lqKEi4EiX475KISX4-1IP7uIDl5vquYuUqD8dv1hNiF8Qp30_C6oCj_-_rb46HW4C-79Zkn-lj/s1600/mamas-family2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_sI4g5u4Ra1MuxG5y0UcLivv-0TmB_irr5BOj3dFaOYQ4D3XdXd1M83pSb7DqSDtkL4lqKEi4EiX475KISX4-1IP7uIDl5vquYuUqD8dv1hNiF8Qp30_C6oCj_-_rb46HW4C-79Zkn-lj/s1600/mamas-family2.jpg" /></a></div>
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And do not get me started on <em><strong>Golden Girls</strong></em>, one of the greatest sitcoms ever imagined by man. Blatantly ripped off today by nearly every sitcom that has come along since. Golden Girls had writing that even now still holds up as hilarious, clever episode plot lines, and a cast made up entirely of sex symbols! <strong>Estelle Getty, Betty White, Rue Mclanahan, Beatrice “Bea” Arthur? </strong><br />
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What more could you ask for? A spin-off? You got it, How about ANOTHER show starring a stylish senior?<br />
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Dr. Harry Weston dominated the 90′s sweater game.</div>
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Murder, She Wrote… Produced, Directed, and likely Dolly Gripped as well!</div>
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But don’t get me wrong, old ladies didn’t just sit around all day being laugh out loud funny and eating cheesecake! That would have of course been enough, but they were also expert sleuths. No modern day “CSI” could hold a candle to the crime solving powers of <strong>Mrs. Jessica Fletcher</strong>. Not even NCIS! No matter how red-hot <strong>Pauly Perrette</strong> is, Man did you see her in those opening credits? wow! Goth and goofy at the same time…such a sexy…umm. <br />
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<em>Ahem</em>… uh anyway, On Murder she Wrote, Jessica traveled the world having dinner parties with friends holding book signings and solving the murders that seemed to weirdly pop up each and every place the woman went. A little old lady (and world famous author) from a quaint new England town traveling around solving crimes made for dramatic perfection. The only change I would have made is in the last episode I think it would have been awesome if it was revealed that Jessica Fletcher was actually just a <strong>serial killer</strong> who used her crime writing skills to frame someone after each of her kills.<br />
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Old ladies weren’t the only ones solving crimes. A doctor played by <strong>Dick Van Dyke</strong> was an excellent detective sure he didn’t use the super cool mind control hoodoo that <strong>Jess Fletcher</strong> did, but we did a great job and didn’t even let all the patients he was losing bother him.<br />
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Even a priest solved crimes and with the help of a wisecracking, street wise nun! Could you possibly think of anything cooler? If you respond to this post saying you can think of something cooler than <strong>Tom Bosley</strong> as a priest solving crimes with a wisecracking, street-wise nun, then I say that you sir are a <em>liar</em> and I will end all associations with you…unless of course those associations benefit me.<br />
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After our senior sleuths brought them to justice, with minimal help from the bungling members of actual law enforcement (after all, doctors, priests and mystery writers really were doing the lion’s share of real detective work in the 80’s), our geriatric giants of the law would prosecute them. And the combined legal minds of <em><strong>Perry Mason</strong> </em>and <strong>Ben <em>Matlock</em></strong> would make sure those bastards fried! Even if all they had done was steal a car…the law is the law.<br />
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All this was just television! In movies, the elderly were leading a sci-fi revolution! Swimming in alien swimming pools and becoming immortal….<br />
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… finding and repairing tiny flying saucer shaped aliens who in the long run helped them repair the very lives they were living….<br />
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…and we all learned just a little something about ourselves along the way. At any rate we sure as hell learned stuff about <strong>Jessica Tandy!</strong><br />
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In short I think it’s high time that the seasoned citizens returned to their rightful place in the spotlight of American pop culture! I am sick and tired of the beautiful people! They have nothing original to say… all the shows now are based on the lives of 20-30 somethings and I will say this only once <em>WE ARE <strong>BORING</strong></em>! Bring back the blue haired ladies and the cantankerous old men. I want muumuus hair curlers and canes.<br />
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<strong><em>Where are all the damn old people at?</em></strong><br />
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Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-66399171549389018612012-05-03T18:20:00.001-04:002012-05-05T21:39:19.344-04:00Ram-Man and Shadow Weaver makes a Cosplay Splash at Pittsburgh Comicon<h1 class="entry-title">
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<span style="font-size: small;">First posted on <span class="entry-date">May 2, 2012</span> <span class="meta-sep"></span>on The
Retroist Retro Blog and Podcast - </span><a href="http://www.retroist.com/2012/05/02/ram-man-makes-a-cosplay-splash-at-pittsburgh-comicon/"><span style="font-size: small;">CW post link</span></a></div>
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This week I decided to do something a little different. Rather than review a cartoon, I want to present to you a time that I recently became one. As some of you know I attend the Pittsburgh Comicon every year and (thanks to my darling, cosplay loving wife Leslie aka PhishBon3s) I usually go in costume.<br />
This year I had a spark of inspiration! Given that there aren’t a ton of hero types for a teapot kinda guy like myself (short and stout) one character finally dawned on me. One of my favorite (if dim-witted) heroes of the Masters of the Universe and one of the most controversial toys in the classic MOTU line; Ram-Man!<br />
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My darling wife spent months working and slaving over sewing machines and hot glue guns. We made more trips than I would like to remember, to Jo-Ann Fabrics (I should really win some kind of medal of honor for the amount of fabric cutting lines I had to stand in).<br />
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Leslie brilliantly chronicles the good natured “can-do” spirit that I maintained through the process, in this hilarious comic:<br />
<img alt="" class="aligncenter" src="http://i.imgur.com/WmQAV.jpg" /><br />
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After all was said and done I really enjoyed dressing up like Ram-Man (a character I was BORN to play), I even like putting on the armor during the fittings!<br />
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Leslie portrayed the dark and mysterious villainess, Shadow Weaver (I’ve always had a thing for the bad girls) and she took to the project immediately.<br />
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Finally the costumes were done and we set out on our trip to the beautiful city of Pittsburgh, PA. The drive was peaceful and we even saw a fox on the way there! We arrived and got dressed in a parking lot (pretty normal for me actually, clothes are for squares) and entered the convention. After stepping into the con, we made a bee-line for the pamplet table and left a stack of Retroist newsletters, CW windowclings and magnets; all of which were scooped up quickly. Thankfully we kept restocking it throughout the day!<br />
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Immediately we got a lot of attention. People where overjoyed that among the latest and greatest in comic book and pop culture nerdery they got to see some characters straight out of their childhood! (Somebody really oughta create a website to capitalize on this nostalgia thing)<br />
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While most people called Leslie Orko…Orko! ….enough times to depress any dark sorceress.<br />
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<img class="aligncenter" height="367" src="http://i.imgur.com/hxvmv.jpg" width="400" /><br />
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…She made an immediate friend in a kindred spirit named <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sarahjanecosplay" target="_blank">Sarah Jane</a>. Sarah turned out to be a huge fan of the old She-Ra cartoons. She had herself cosplayed previously as Catra and recognized Shadow Weaver immediately. The two hit it off immediately<br />
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(Sarah was also in an amazing throwback costume, brilliantly portraying the devious, whip-wielding villainess Cat Woman!)<br />
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Already plans have been made between the two of them to coordinate a future convention appearance together. Cosplay world, look out!<br />
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As you can probably tell from the photograph; Leslie went the extra mile with her costume, not only making Shadow Weaver’s eyes actually glow, she created several eye plates that could be quickly replaced to show a wide range of emotions!<br />
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We met a ton of great people at the convention (sadly I didn’t think to exchange contact info with any of them) A wonderful couple that each posed for a picture with us separately and a great Green Lantern!<br />
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The con was a huge success. We even won second place in the “group” contest against some amazing competition. We had never even planned on entering the contest and only did, after the third time that someone wished us luck in it!<br />
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So that’s about it; we left the convention feeling great, made some new friends and saw a lot of great merchandise and costumes. I picked up a few great dvd sets from my childhood and even the drive home was lovely! (We saw a coyote on the way home…weird!)<br />
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The Pittsburgh Comicon was and always is a great time! I’m already looking forward to next years trip (I have no idea what kind of costume project my Mrs has planned for me.) Nevertheless, you should really check out this convention and if you wanna meet up, get in touch with me! I’d love to meet you. And also feel free to contact me if we actually did meet this year.<br />
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Until next time, stay retro friends!<br />
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1992.<br />
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What a year…A leap year. Presidential election year…the one with Bill Clinton, George Bush (no, the other one) and H Ross Perot. An election that produced some of the best presidential election skits in the history of Saturday Night Live. <br />
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We sent the “Dream Team” (a group that I believed at the time to be the closest thing the world had to a real life Justice League Of America) <br />
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Wayne’s World, Aladdin, The Bodyguard, Batman Returns, Basic Instinct and Braham Stoker’s Dracula hit the theatre. <br />
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More important than any of these things and in fact, the reason that we’re all here…In October of 1992, I turned 12 years old.<br />
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When I was 12, the weirdness that up untill then and been subtle, sleeping just beneath the surface, finally became the dominant force in my personality. In 5th grade, I created my first comic book with my friend Brandon. It was called Pizza Man! (pizza was pretty big in the early nineties, thanks Ninja Turtles!)<br />
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Pizza man was a lazy and carefree pizza cook working the night shift in a local pie joint. Next store to the pizza place is a bank which, on this night happens to be being robbed. The bank robber sets of explosives to blow the safe which causes an unforeseen chain of events, fusing our hero with the power of pizza. Flat and powerfull his head torso and arms were all made of pizzas and his fingers were pizza cutters! Pizza cutters… Anyway the explosion also shot the bank robber through the wall of the bank and into the pet store on the other side. Merging the criminal with a cat and creating the terrible villain Cat Man-Drew! Pizza Man and Cat Man-Drew would be forever locked in a comment with some kind of vague outcome that I never pinned down as it never got past issue one.<br />
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<em><span style="font-size: x-small;">(A group shot of some of the memorable characters (what do you mean you don't remember them? created by the Quick Witt Cartoon Company.)</span></em><br />
The following year I kicked my career up a notch by founding “The Quick Witt Cartoon Company! Acting on information (that turned out to not be true) I was inspired by the story of three teenage girls who created a fun cartoon and actually sold it to Warner Bros, creating Tiny Toon Adventures!<br />
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I thought “Claymation Werewolf…if they can do it, you can too!” And I set to work creating my own television animation masterpiece simply titled “Rover” It was about a Houdini dog that could escape from any leash, fence or yard. The story followed the lives of his owners and their interaction with their faithful escape artist dog. Once he inevitably got away, we would find ourselves in a brand new world full of talking animals…stray cats, a bully dog (owned by the female love interest of Rover’s owner) an extreme sports goose and a bevy of oddball animal characters. The show would constantly shift back and forth between these two worlds both existing at the same time.<br />
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<em><span style="font-size: x-small;"> (The Ever-Extreme Gary Goose...he's unstoppable!)</span></em><br />
I didn’t just dream up this cartoon and walk away I put in some real work. Using the unique talents of several of my friends, we created character sheets with personality information…drawings of each character…background shots of commonly used scenes…everything! <br />
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I even got out my trusty cassette recorder and had individual voice recording sessions with my friends for each individual characters. This was the information I thought you had to put together to sell a cartoon to a major studio (as a 12 year old!) I was obsessed with the project and would put my friends to work every time we got together. I must have been a blast to hang out with!!<br />
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<em><span style="font-size: x-small;">(*A never before seen copy of the doodle that inspired the Animated Series Rover! If some company would have come to their senses and bought Rover this picture would be worth hundreds of dollars!)</span></em><br />
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Besides my hardworking attempt to break into cartoon based showbiz (a dream I still havent been able to make myself give up) life went on. I developed a love for learning, especially creative writing I discovered a weird weird show called The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (the Rangers still exist…I can’t believe how much staying power that property has) and found some amazing books, from a new author by the name of RL Stine called Goosebumps! <br />
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In 1992 I also played matchmaker to my then best friend Vlad. He had his eye on a girl from “the other school” named Leslie. You see, in my school district the two elementary schools would merge when you entered middle school at 6th grade, so there would suddenly be all these strange and new students that you didn’t know. <br />
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Anyway in between creating a super important animated series, I began to talk to Leslie and pass her notes from Vlad and occasionally take notes back from Leslie to Vlad.<br />
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My masterful skills as a cupid worked and soon they were “boyfriend and girlfriend” even going to the Halloween dance together. Our very first real dance! …I went alone.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>(A young Claymation Werewolf. Believe it or not this guy went to the dance date-less! For bonus entertainment check out that awesome orange nylon lamp in the background complete with decorative pegasus!)</em></span><br />
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As the years went by, I became friends, and then best friends with Leslie myself and then we occasionally dated and finally started “going out” eventually, I would go on to marry this girl and this past April 3rd marked our 8 year wedding anniversary.<br />
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1992... What a year.<br />
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For some other dizzy leaps into our personal pasts, be sure to check out:<br />
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<a href="http://brandedinthe80s.com/this-is-how-my-childhood-ends-not-with-a-whimper-but-a-bang-">Shawn Robare of Branded In The 80s talks about childhood's end</a><br />
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<a href="http://mattandtimfunny.blogspot.com/2012/04/80s-kevin-arnold.html">Dex borrows Bill and Ted's phone booth to time travel (in more ways than one) into the epic year of 1982</a><br />
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<a href="http://coolandcollected.com/1984-possibly-the-greatest-year-in-pop-culture-history/">Brian from Cool And Collected doubles down, exploring both 1984 pop culture and a rare look into his own history!</a><br />
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<a href="http://mattandtimfunny.blogspot.com/2012/04/80s-kevin-arnold.html">TL narrates his own history as it follows an eerie parallel to one Kevin Arnold...</a><br />
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<br />Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-11598105874520044152012-04-27T19:06:00.000-04:002013-08-19T19:46:21.682-04:00Earth Day with the Planeteers<span lang=""></span><br />
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<span lang="">First posted on April 26th, 2012 on The Cold Slither Podcast - <a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.com/2012/04/26/earth-day-with-the-planeteers/#more-2231" target="_blank">CW post link</a></span></div>
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<article class="post-2231 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-claymation-werewolf category-other-stuff tag-captain-planet tag-earth-day tag-environmental-protestors tag-gaia tag-looten-plunder tag-planeteers tag-whoopi-goldberg tag-working-overseas" id="post-2231"><div class="entry-content">
My Dearest Elizabeth,<br />
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Hiya, babes. <br />
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How is everything on the home front? Work has been goin’ steady but I already miss you and da kids terrible. Knowing that I’m gonna provide the money to help give all a'ya a better life is what keeps me going. So far this job has been a bit of a mixed blessing. Don’t get me wrong, the pay is great (why else would I have moved half way around the world for a job). The scenery is nice out here and the work is hard but fulfilling. Also my boss, Looten Plunder, has been great. He bends over backwards to create an open and rewarding work environment. It really is pretty rare these days to find a successful business man who really seems to care about his employees.<br />
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<a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/looten2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-2331" height="410" src="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/looten2.jpg?w=593&h=410" title="Looten2" width="593" /></a></div>
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As anybody on this jobsite will tell you there are really only three things that have been bringing down moral on this job. <br />
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The heat… the bugs… and the Planeteers. <br />
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I don’t know if I mentioned them in my last letter but they are a weird, confused group’a kids. We got environmental protesters back in the states but the folks are in a league all of their own! And it’s pointless; Mr. Plunder runs one of the most environmentally-conscious companies I’ve ever seen! Everything has to be done by the book; we can’t even leave a plant outta place! Not to mention da fact that Mr. Plunder himself donates thousands a dollars a year to the preservation of nature.<br />
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<a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/punk-planeteers.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-2332" src="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/punk-planeteers.jpg?w=593" title="punk planeteers" /></a></div>
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<span id="more-2231"></span>But these goofy kids don’t leave us alone for a minute! Talking about the atrocities we’ve committed against the planet…. the plants and animals and mother nature in general. I honestly think they protest because we’re a big company and we work outside. Speaking of Mother Nature, she’s here too! This middle-aged lady that looks to be about 40 but sounds somewhere around 60! She’s like the ring leader of the group and for some reason walks around in a toga all da time. She’s beautiful, except for the ridiculous outfit; so it's pretty weird when she opens her mouth, she sounds like Whoopi Goldberg! Ha ha! I’m guessing she’s a pretty heavy smoker, at least a pack a day which is funny because she’s one of the most judgmental sanctimonious broads I’ve ever come across.<br />
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<a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/gaiaberg.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-2337" src="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/gaiaberg.jpg?w=593" title="gaiaberg" /></a></div>
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But enough about Whoopi Crazyberg; I gotta tell you more about these dumb Planetteer kids. They got this club or something and they all wear these matching t-shirts. They take their orders from the Mother Nature lady and they will not leave us alone…if it isn’t the rapping (yeah they rap… long story), they’re using their magic rings on us. Did I mention the rings? Yeah, see all these kids got these rings from the Whoopi Goldberg lady and they think the rings give 'em magic powers. One of them is fire, one is water and so on… so they think they can harness the elements and end our brutal attacks on nature.<br />
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<a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/captainplanetandtheplaneteers.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-2333" src="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/captainplanetandtheplaneteers.jpg?w=593" title="CaptainPlanetAndThePlaneteers" /></a></div>
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The way it usually works is that they point one of their rings at us and then trick themselves into thinking it accomplished something. The other day I was taking some soil readings to find out the ore concentrations on some rocks we removed and this red-headed kid runs up and says “Time to warm this party up…Fire!” and then he takes out a butane lighter and a can of hairspray and catches the interior of my jeep on fire! It caused 13k in damage and extended my workday about three hours. It was a real shame. I loved that jeep.<br />
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The other day we were constructing a school for the local underprivileged children when "the Planeteers” struck again; they kept sabotaging our construction. This Asian chick grabs one of our irrigation hoses and starts spraying down the whole crew shouting “Water Water Water!” in her Japanese accent. (They all talk in strong accents like they’re gathered from across the globe, though I’ve heard them talk in private and they're all clearly from Brooklyn…I’m telling you, these kids are real oddballs). Anywho the planet-weirdos decide we pose too much of a threat and they decide to call their “secret weapon”, they gather in a circle point their rings in the air and take turns shouting out their elements (I seriously think there might be drugs involved here).<br />
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<a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/cprecylebin.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-2334" height="389" src="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/cprecylebin.jpg?w=593&h=389" title="CPRecyleBin" width="593" /></a></div>
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Then this guy who was hiding (very badly) under a blanket on the backseat of their van. So he throws the blanket aside jumps up and runs out (tripping a couple times) and yells “By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!”. Then he just started running around the construction site. If it wasn’t so irritating, it woulda been hilarious! The dude is wearing shiny silver spandex, red gloves and boots and a bright green mullet! So this guy's acting like a huge spacecase (he’s supposed to be the combined power of everybody I guess). While the security team was trying to subdue him, he ran into a ladder, knocked a bucket of paint over and some paint splashes on his arm. This guy sees that paint got on him and he starts screaming like a woman, then he staggers and falls to the ground as if he got poisoned. After that, all the teens scrambled into the van and peeled out. We're trying to get “Captain Planet” the help he needs…<br />
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I really hope the project gets back on track. School is supposed to start in about 3 months and those kids haven’t been given too much in their lives… it could really change the face of the community.<br />
So anyway babe, I hope everything is going great at home. Give my best to Hyacinth, Richard and everybody. I hope to be coming home to you sometime in the next few months. I just have to earn enough money to get Junior that personality transplant surgery and maybe get us enough for the down payment on the nice little place in the country. All of this is worth it to change our lives, even putting up with those environmental lunatic kids and their theme song! (I really can’t begin to tell you how bad the rapping is.) <br />
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Anyway, I better get back to work. I’ve heard there’s this new kid called Ma-ti who just joined the crew. His element is "heart". <br />
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Really. "Heart".<br />
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He points his ring at you, yell’s “Heart!” and nothing at all happens… I don’t think they put any time into figuring out what his power was actually supposed to be. I swear, these kids are gonna drive me to drinking.<br />
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<a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/captain-planet-smokin.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-2336" height="571" src="http://coldslitherpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/captain-planet-smokin.jpg?w=593&h=571" title="captain-planet- smokin" width="593" /></a></div>
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As always, my dear, remember… the power is yours.<br />
I love you.<br />
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Your Husband,<br />
Argos Bleak</div>
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Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-79558042771424562512012-04-23T11:47:00.003-04:002012-04-23T15:08:21.350-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Pittsburgh Comicon is over and we had a great time! I passed out some promotional merchandise for the blog: Window Clings...stickers and magnets and they seem to have gone over really well. If anybody is new to the site and found me through my PittCon freebies, feel free to give me a shout, I'd love to hear from you! <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia8PI5pb-7IitKzM4a6hSzHnssoEEu1V7aaeWoVLksOZ6zhExSHWPXO4VneHWtWtYU5Jl1rGk0VqwkWctBRoesHYIb45LMYg4gnQXbqWcXhSP25gOVnG6HRvpU6s9eXbi0y5OX_xO2cIul/s1600/big+face+monster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" oda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia8PI5pb-7IitKzM4a6hSzHnssoEEu1V7aaeWoVLksOZ6zhExSHWPXO4VneHWtWtYU5Jl1rGk0VqwkWctBRoesHYIb45LMYg4gnQXbqWcXhSP25gOVnG6HRvpU6s9eXbi0y5OX_xO2cIul/s400/big+face+monster.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9027160900975111197.post-86007357411169126732012-04-17T18:37:00.000-04:002012-05-03T18:38:36.414-04:00Muppet Inception<span lang=""></span><br />
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First posted on April 16th, 2012 on The Cold Slither Podcast - <a href="http://coldslitherpodcast.com/2012/04/16/episode-27-1984-muppet-inception-foreword-by-claymation-werewolf/" target="_blank">CW post link</a></div>
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The year was 1984. Big Brother was watching over all of us…but what I want to know is…what were WE watching? Speaking for myself, I was a wolf pup of a mere three years old when the new bread of television programming arrived in September of ‘84.</div>
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Using a patented pop-culture research method, I have spent years cultivating I have found a way to literally look back in time to an age when TV was simpler. When fashion was much more corduroy and when people broke records, selling records. The year of Nineteen Hundred and Eighty-Four.<br />
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<em>Scroll down after the jump to read more and to listen to this week’s episode!</em><br />
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As I started to dig, I soon realized that the answers I found were more amazing than I could have possibly imagined! 1984 it would seem, was a year when the television industry was ready to take risks. Maybe it was the fact that they thought the dystopian future of George Orwell had finally arrived or maybe they had just realized that human civilization had finally reached its height and they wanted to make the most of it. Either way, we were given gifts like cartoon blocks introduced by music mogul Weird Al Yankovic! We had cartoons about wrestlers! TV shows about helicopters… Sitcoms about wrestling helicopters? Strangest of all someone was finally brave enough to air a show about two middle-aged women with kids, living in the 80′s, cooking dinner and having jobs!<br />
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But rather than try to put my spin on such an amazing era of televised programming, I’ll let this historic artifact speak for itself!<br />
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(<em>Check out the Claymation-style TV listings, see if you can spot any Easter eggs! – Ed.)</em><br />
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</span>Claymation Werewolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02375473892918861428noreply@blogger.com0