First posted on July 6th, 2011 on The Rotting Flesh Radio Podcast and Blog - CW post link
While I was in the yard today, watering the weeds, I was thinking about the American family. My thoughts of course soon turned to one of the first families of Halloween, The Munsters. I have always been a huge fan of The Munsters and still to this day delight in their presentation of the all-American way of life.
While the show likes to explore the spooky side of things in a good natured kind of way, one element of the show rises past the light-hearted fun side of classic monsters and crosses straight over into the realm of terror. One character on the show cranks the horror up a notch and adds the edge that has made it tough to watch for some more “sensitive” viewers. I’m sure you’ve guessed by now that I am, of course, speaking of Marilyn Munster. Never before in the history of television have producers dared to present a character so gruesome, so terrifying and so plain! How Marilyn is related to a family as normal as the Munsters, no one will ever know.
Let’s take a closer look (if we can bear it) at what separates this unfortunate girl from her more normal relatives. While she tries her best to fit in it’s obvious on sight that Marilyn Munster is destined to be an outcast. First of all she’s blonde. Blonde! Her hair is the golden color of sunshine on a field of flowers. It’s enough to make you sick, it isn’t dark or oily in the least. If that wasn’t enough, the rest of her is, if anything, even more plain. Her body is soft and curvaceous without the smallest hint of that sallow rigor mortis look that drives all the boys wild. And her complexion doesn’t have a single flaw or scar. Her skin seems to glow with life and color, and sometimes (and this is difficult for me to say) a tan. I mean, one would think that the girl had never even been dead! Her family is constantly trying to find a nice sickly looking boy to take her out but it can’t be easy. The boys that Marilyn seems to go for look like they should be on the cover of one of those horror mags you see at the supermarket checkout lane; GQ, Esquire, Sports Illustrated and the like.
Despite the unappealing nature of these young men, they don’t stay interested for too long. Even when she does find a boy patient enough to date her and brings them home to meet the family, they end up running away in terror.
And who can blame them? After all the girl never learned how to sew spider webs, can’t bake bat soufflé to save her death, and when she dusts the house she actually REMOVES the dust that was already there! She enjoys sporting events, dances, even rock and roll concerts! Worst of all she goes out in the daytime, on purpose! Picnics, strolls in the park; the whole nine yards. There seems to be no limit to her bizarre behavior.
I’m a strong believer that variety is the spice of life and I like to think that there is someone out there for everyone. So maybe somewhere there might actually be someone for Marilyn Munster. Despite her flaws, her many, many flaws, she really is a sweet girl and always seems to try her best. Maybe she can find a boy who can overlook all these little quirks. Look past the radiant skin and the bright blue eyes. The sunny personality and the strange daytime hobbies…But the blonde hair? How much can one guy take?
Talk to you again real soon, and until next time…Sit Back, Relax and Rot Away! And have a nice day.
Visit the Official Munsters Page at: http://www.munsters.com/