Perfect Strangers the Animated Series!

After a huge bit of good fortune (stemming from the online sale of a mint condition 1978 Fisher Price "Little People's Tatooine Playset", Brian at Cool and Collected is now flush with money.

This puts him in a rather unique position to make several rather risky business decisions with no real concern for whether they succeed or fail. He has, of course decided to bring back the intellectual properties that are to be hand picked by the member of the league of extraordinary bloggers.
Not wanting to waste this opportunity, I knew exactly the property that needed a revival. A show long since off the air but still playing in prime time in all of our hearts.

Perfect Strangers.

I know they tried to bring Perfect Strangers back twice already but each time it was attempted by television professionals...and what do they know. There is a time and a place for everything and the proper time for a Perfect Strangers renewal wasn't in the early nineties...it's right now. Besides, ABC never tried to bring it back the way I'm going to do it, as an animated series!

                                           These guys are ready America!!

Here's the pitch:

""The Mediterranean, Island Nation of Mypos has recently discovered that they sit directly on top of one of the largest natural helium reserves in the world and every citizen becomes an instant millionaire. Free to travel from the boundaries of their quaint shepherding island, the citizens can't wait to see the world. And freshly invigorated by the wave of 80's sitcoms that had just now made their way to their country the first place the want to visit is America.

Alarmed by the sudden explosion in travel visa applications from Mypos, the department of tourism tracks down and hires the single only other resident of the nation to ever come to the United States, Balki Bartokomus. 
Larry Appleton, hesitant to take the new job, until he sees the salary, agrees to join Balki in DC as his assistant. 

Larry's hesitation soon turns to outright dread when he discovers the realities of the job. Dozens of naive and filthy rich members of the island nation of Mypos with no concept of dishonest people and an understanding of American culture straight out of "Mr Belvedere" and "Who's the Boss." And they were all Balki and Larry's responsibility.

As if the common everyday cheats and criminals werent enough of a threat to the money of the Mypos tourists (and job security of our heroes) there was an even bigger danger. A lobbyist, CEO and all-around corporate slime-ball by the name of Bob Executive lived with one goal in mind; to see exactly HOW easily a fool and his money are parted. Seeing the new visitors as not only walking ATM's but a pathway for his company to steal the helium right from under their country's nose.
Balki and Larry have to guide the confused and enthusiastic Myposian Millionaires through the incredible sights and sounds of America, make sure they have a great time (and don't get robbed blind in the process.)""

                  "It's like Mr Bean, meets the Beverly Hillbillies meets Coming to America!"

-me

         With the fluidity of Animation the story lines for this show   are virtually endless! 

**A Mypos storyteller begins to strike up a conversation during a meeting of congress and accidentally filibusters for 32 hours gaining the national spotlight and becoming a political hero for every party!

**The boys take some Mypos tourists to the grand canyon, only to find that they stage a daring midnight raid to free all the guide mules!

**A well loved Mypos folk musician visits America and becomes the biggest thing to hit the hipster music scene since The Neptunes! Can Balki and Larry keep the fame (and women) from going to this wide-eyed idealists head? ...and more importantly can the make any money off of the merchandising?

There are dozens more but I don't wanna give this stuff away! Am I right?

The oppourtunity for merch is just as amazing. I'm seeing Mypos tee shirft, Mypos messenger bags and so on, not to mention all the 80's slang gear we can church out with the whole "they are all still living in 1980's America" thing!

Hot Topic is basically going to become a Perfect Strangers store...that's what I'm trying to say.

I am so excited at the opportunity to bring back this long deserving property that I just want to...

ah! You know!

Meanwhile, at League Of Extraordinary Bloggers Headquarters!!

Kevin at Team Hellions wants to bring back local childrens television hosts and I totally agree (loved those!)/

Hobgoblin 238 Wants to bring back the awesome 80's style gimmicks and Save Wrestling!!

Miss M at Diary of a Dorkette gives us an epic bringbackapalooza including one of my personal favorites, Wonder Woman!

Moron Madness Part 2! The Foolish Four

First posted on March 28th, 2012 on The Cold Slither Podcast - CW post link

 Coverage has been intense for this years Moron Madness and I’m sure all the idiots in the contest would like to thank each and every one of you for cheering on your favorite dolt. While not everyone can be a champion all of our competitors are shamefully stupid in their own unique and wonderful ways. Now without any further pomp and circumstance I present part two of Claymation Werewolf’s Moron Madness Tournament!

Balki vs. Joey

There has been a lot of trash talk between these two highly trained competitors throughout this entire tournament and tonight, the rivalry was settled once and for all.

Joey’s opening volley of stupidity and confusion was truly breathtaking. Balki countered with idiocy of his own, paired with an astounding misunderstanding about how the world worked. Hurling insults that didn’t even make sense in his home country, Balki began to show the crowd why this simple, hometown boy from Mypos, was in the foolish four.

Midway through the game, Joey became distracted by his adoring female fans and the reporters from Tiger Beat and Seventeen Magazine. The young athlete began smiling and mugging for the crowd. Striking poses and trying to be cool he completely lost track of his idiot roots pulling what they refer to in the sport as an “Eddie Winslow.”

By the end of the third quarter he was desperately behind in points and started erratically throwing out “Whoa!” and “Whoa!” but it was no use Balki Bartokomous walks over Joey Russo like a sheep herder over a pile of mud.

 124-73 Balki advances to the “Chump”ionship

Dauber vs. Rose

The battle that everyone in the Midwest has been eagerly anticipating; the famed “War of Minnesota!” Both contestants came out strong Rose misunderstanding the referee’s opening instructions which resulted in hilarious wacky hijinks. Dauber countered with his trademark vacant stare and battle cry of “Uhhhh”

Rose began to work the finesse, tying in pointless stories with confused dumb blonde moments and self deprecating humor but Dauber was ready. Using his 9 years as a college athlete paired with his year as a coaches assistant; he quickly put together an amazing competitive strategy sure to completely turn the tides of the match!

Upon doing this he was immediately disqualified for excessive forethought and logic and Rose Walks away with the victory.

 88-68 Rose Nylund advances to the “Chump”ionship

Balki vs. Rose

Long-time followers of sitcom showdowns knew very well that this tournament was never going to end any other way than a showdown between Rose Nylund and Balki Bartokomous. These two masters of imbecilic endeavors steamrolled over everyone they faced and today, it all comes down to this. Their careers seem to rival each other as though it were scripted; both are fishes out of water, both have wacky and unbelievable tales of a strange, far away land. And both drive their roommates up the wall! Sadly, only one can walk away as the National Moron Madness “Chump”ion.

The game got off to an exciting start with both dimwits playing their hearts out. They met each other at every turn. Rose became confused by something, Balki Became more confused… Baki told a nonsense story about herding goats in Mypos…Rose told a nonsense story about owning a cow farm in St Olaf. Balki performed a classic misunderstanding of our American Culture and Rose was right there with a horrifying Viking Fish meal with an unpronounceable name! with 2 minutes left on the clock and Rose Nylund ahead by five points, a hush fell over the crowd. Balki put on a ridiculous looking outfit and Rose called a time out.

Upon returning to the court, with Balki behind by one point, the unthinkable happened. Out of nowhere, Rose began to soberly and with uncharacteristically intelligence deal with a serious social issue of the 80’s. As a result of this horrible slip-up, Balki was able to steal the momentum and drive down the court performing the greatest three point, “Don’t be ridiculous” of his career. The final buzzer blasts and Balki Bartokomous becomes the first Moron Madness “Chumpion!”

 89-87 Balki wins. (Final)

Despite the years I’ve spent as a famous sitcom athletic announcer, I never quite know how to sum up these moments of greatness. These great moments that bring joy to the hearts of a nation and inspire future generations of stupid sitcom stars. While I may not have the words to express the joy that we all feel in these moments, maybe…just maybe there are no need for words. I think it’s best to let our “Chump”ion celebrate in his own way…

The Dance of Joy!!!