Sunday, March 17, 2013

John Cena's Rockin' Wrestling.

Mr Adams
Mr McMahon 
Mr Decker

I want to start by saying how personally excited I am to hear about the impending merger between World Wrestling Entertainment and Cool and Collected Holdings (In association with Underscoopfire Industries) I know that this will open up some amazing oppourtunites for everyone involved and cement the WWE's place in history, not only as the most succesful sports-entertainment venture ever devised, but as the greatest media empire the world has ever known.
The fact that you are reaching out further to the talented and driven members of your collective fanbases is a true testimant to the groundbreaking things to come. I truly believe that by soliciting "pitches" for new WWE programing, the world will be given some of the most fresh television they have ever seen. 
Attached please find the outline for my new series: 

John Cena's Rockin' Wrestling.

An american hero with unstoppable heart leads a team of loyal warriors against the forces of evil and greed."

Our series will follow the animated adventures of universally beloved wrestler John Cena who, after discovering a plot by a group of heartless wrestling stars who's plans to turn wrestling into a soulless corporation will not only damage the legacy of TV's most admired sports-art. It will set a bad example for kids everywhere and breed a generation of selfish, greedy Americans. 
Though Mr Cena has the heart of 20 men, he knows this is one mission he can't handle alone. Fortunately, during his years as a gladiator, he has met some of the greatest brothers in arms a guy could ever hope for. 
His Fantastic Faces include:

Rey Mysterio- A high flying, death defying, true man of mystery. Hailing from parts unkown this masked my may be small in stature but more than makes up for it with his enormous will to win. There is no adversary that can stand up to Rey Mysterio...including gravity.

Brodus Clay (Alias The Funkasaurus) Lovable, hilarious and as powerful as a Mack Truck! People of all walks are immediately charmed by the goofy antics of Brodus Clay except maybe the evil-doers who find themselves under the business end of this rump-shaking, rhythm loving warrior for truth and justice! If you think keeping up with his moves on the dance floor is tough...just try it in the wrestling ring!

Sheamus- This Celtic warrior definitely has the luck of the Irish ..though he probably doesn't need it. His ability to bounce back from the edge of defeat can be attributed as much to his years of brutal training as they can to the shamrock sorcery that has made his homeland great. Ready to take on any challenge, the only foe this fierce  fair skinned fighter runs from, is the sun.

Undertaker and Kane- Brothers Kane and "Taker" might seem like somber and sober fellows but when they want to, these Gloomy Gus's have more then their fair share of life in them. When they aren't dishing out beatdowns on bad dudes, they play their practical jokes on whoever they can find (sometimes each other!) Be careful, when the lights go out; when they come back on you could find yourself de-pantsed, wedgied or even worse!

Kaitlyn-This beautiful buff bombshell may seem like all brawn but this lady's brain is the teams true secret weapon. Able to almost instantly calculate the physics of any move and the outcome of any showdown, John Cena's Fantastic Faces wouldn't dare make a move without consulting this mathematic maven. 

John Cena and his team will have to muster every ounce of their collective might if they want to stop CM Punk and his Heinous Heels: CM...a man once led by his virtue until fame twisted him into a cruel monster focused on nothing more than profit and merchandising he using his physical prowess and inerint ability to influence those around him to peer pressure the entire wrestling world! 
Can The Fantasic Faces defeat The Heinous Heels with such powerhouse villains as:

Jinder Mahal- Indian tycoon Jinder Mahal has made a fortune on the backbreaking work of others and eventually joined the forces of CM Punk to further his moneymaking potential in America. Every alliance he makes, an uneasy one and Jinder is genuinely curious as to whether he will meet someone truly worthy of his loyalty. If not, he will simply crush every lowly person in his way. 

Big Show- A giant of a man, this monster towers over nearly everyone else on earth, though the size of his mind may be a bit below average. 
Big Show often provides most of the humor among the Heinous Heels (mostly at his own expense) but is always there to pitch his considerable might behind their latest dastardly cause. 

Mark Henry- Mark Henry is the strongest man in the world. A man of (very) few words, he seems to have no sense of humor and no real personal incentive, Many speculate whether or not Henry is truly a bad guy or just someone patiently waiting until his own plan makes itself known. Time will tell. Until then the Faces certainly have their hands full each time they are forced to face this behemoth. 

Vickie Guerrero- A former librarian and author Vickie wrote the book on good manners (she literally wrote a book on good manners.) 
After being driven nearly mad by being an etiquette conscious lady in a world of uncouth hooligans she left the quiet life of books to face her fears of the extreme, in the loud bright and brash world of professional wrestling. 
She immediately took to the world and because one of the most cunning and treacherous managers in wrestling history. Believed by those in the know to be a better business man than even CM Punk she could very well be biding her time for a well orchestrated "corporate takeover." Either way, when this former MS Manners says "Excuse me" these out!

Dolph Ziggler- Ziggler considers himself the most beautiful man that has ever walked the earth. While a true physical powerhouse his personal ego, more often than not, gets in the way of his success. Unable to truly be a part of any team, it's a constant struggle for CM Punk to keep Dolph focused on anything more than grooming, looking in a mirror and showing off.

While the Heinous Heels are arguably more physically powerful and undeniably better connected, the story arc of the serious will see them consistently lose to the faces as a result of their in-fighting and their lack of "heart"

Several characters will be added over time as well as additional managers and other on-air staff. 

I also plan for the show to reflect the ever shiftiting heel/face landscape, something that the original Rockin' Wrestling failed to do (which many animated wrestling show experts consider the reason for it's cancellation) 

John Cena's Rockin' Wrestling will be a weekly 22 minute animated series aimed at the lucrative 11-45 year old marked. Though I have already developed several hour long specials including numerous holiday episodes.

The potential for Tee Shirts and other merchandise as well as video sales to current wrestling fans and nostalgic former fans alike is incredible.

I want to thank you all again for your time. I hope that this concept sounds as exciting to you as I feel it could be. I have additional series material such as an pilot and first season arc ourlines, universe treatment and some concept art available at your request.
It would be my honor and privilege to develop John Cena's Rockin' Wrestling as one of the flagship programs in the new WWE/CoolCollected/Underscoopfire entertainment empire.

Thank you for your time.
Rhett Kahn

Meanwhile..., At The League Of Extraordinary Bloggers Headquarters!!


In addition to these great blogs, I bring you some RAD, hand selected posts from some of my favorite online destinations! (also upstanding League members)

The Hits keep rolling out from Cold Slither put these podcasts in your earholes stat!

The Fiji Mermaid at Sideshow Cinema totally HULKS OUT with a great featured post.

Underscoopfire has a very interesting article on the view of Eternia from behind the Iron Curtain. GREAT READ!

Strange Kids Club discusses one of my favorite subjects, Movies Developed into Animated TV Shows. Here are the five worst.


  1. Cool and Collected Holdings (In association with Underscoopfire Industries) HAHA

    the coveted 11-45 demographic - awesome

    Great read- and the casting choices were perfect!

  2. I'm just saying, once you all launch the WWE network, this might make some pretty sweet Saturday morning programming...

    Thank you my friend! I think this is gonna be big for you guys! Big!

  3. I apologize for ruining your booking plans.

  4. The more I thought about it I realized you hadn't booked any of the wrestlers from the animated division so I think I'm alright! Loophole!